The X Factor Blog: The Final Countdown

After endless hours of tiresome cliches, dull contestants and Louis Walsh's ever changing hair we have finally made it to the end. In what was of the longest weekends of our lives, (2 hours on Saturday night AND 2 hours on Sunday? Ridiculous) we had our winner crowned.  James Arthur, that of the awful glasses, shirt pulling and the "I realllllllllllly mean these lyrics, man" beats little ol' Chicken Jahmene and everybody's favourite 80s crooner Christopher Maloney. Who topped the vote for the first 7 WEEKS. Impressive.

The musical guests were a real let down as most of them had been on the show already this series. I can't have Rhianna, One Direction or Emili Sande shoved down my throat any more. The show was over bloated, contained little singing from the finalists and was a bit of a damp squib in the end.

Let go Kye!

Personally, I was rooting for Jahmene but I was not bothered at all by who won. Lacklustre is the best way I can describe this series. It just seemed like a massive disappointment, partly due to the average acts, but the blame mostly falls on the judges who are now convinced that they are the real stars of the show.

Nicole has been nothing short of fantastic this year; what a revelation and thank goodness she was there because without her the live shows might have crumbled. Gary, while a very credible recording artist you can't help feeling the first live results show put the nail in the coffin for his X Factor career. Tulisa was getting worse and worse press as the series went on; and she wasn't totally blameless.  She was looking defeated before Ella went and afterwards she obviously didn't care. And Louis Walsh. Even he has clocked on how bloody ridiculous he is, now in on the joke he is pointless.

It's a show that I will tune in again for when the new series rolls around. There was a time when I claimed I'd not watch it anymore or at least not as much but I get sucked in every time. EVERY TIME. The problem is though it's not must see TV anymore; and until it finds that missing piece that makes the X Factor fun again, people will continue to turn off. I'm not sure if Simon's return would have the effect they are after; saying that though people tuned in for Britain's Got Talent to see his return (personally, I thought it was a weak series but I'm not sure anything will ever top Diversity v Su-Bo).

There's loads of time to talk about how to make X Factor better but for now I'm just looking forward to a small break from it. James Arthur, good luck. The male winners of X Factor haven't been bad but they've definitely been unlucky. See if you can break the curse.

Now on to The Voice which is back for a new series. Good?

The X Factor Blog: Of Course Union J Went

There’s light at the end of the tunnel, we are nearly at the end of what feels like the longest X Factor ever. There will be a post mortem, no doubt, but for now let’s see how obvious this semi final actually was. In fact it was pointless. There was never any doubt Union J were leaving. With no judges vote to save them, Maloney seemingly untouchable and people probably now voting for James after his fall into the bottom 2 Union J must have had their bags packed. No matter how many times the judges kept banging on about how they were the “next big boy band” (shut up, Louis) the general public just didn’t want to vote for them.

The “theme” this week was basically just sing a song with words. Some rubbish about sing a song for yourself and one for the win. I don’t know, the producers have really given up with the themes this year. One of the shows biggest disappointments is the lack of thought gone into the weekly themes. Bring back Big Band week. There’s not even much to say about this week, it was dull and very predictable. While not Tulisa’s biggest fan she looked so nervous performing. She just doesn’t have the same presence like Cheryl Cole, nor much of a solo career by all accounts.

Let’s just get to the end quickly and quietly shall we? Reserve your energy because it’s a 2 hour extravaganza on Saturday night where one contestant goes and the winner is crowned on Sunday following another 2 hour, err, “extravaganza”. Guests include the little known Rhianna, the unheard of Emeli Sande and a new little band called One Direction.

All have which performed on the X Factor this year. What a massive anti climax. Must try harder X Factor.

What is I’m A Celebrity Without Ant and Dec?

It’s been a really enjoyable series this year, we’ve had the one contestant that the public want to torture (Helen), a politician who claims they are on there to talk about serious issues (Nadine), a bit of a bossy boots (Rosemary), an 80s singer (Limuli), someone who had to quit (Brian), a token blonde (Ashley) and a man who calls it as it is (Eric). There’s always filler; not their fault but their screen time is probably at the expense of other more mouthy characters. See Linda; who seemed quite nice but the others were a bit more in your face. We’ve also got Charlie who looked like she was going to turn into her on screen character Janine, but turned into the eventual queen and quite a nice girl. Janine would have eaten Rosie Webster for breakfast; don’t stand too close to any cliffs Helen.

Let’s be honest though, we all know who the stars of the show are: Ant and Dec. They have outshone themselves this year. Personal highlights include Dec and his “Evening Prime Minister”, Ant with his Eric Bristow impression but my favourite was Dec giving Ant a birthday card. Not just any card, a musical card with Kajgoogoo’s Too Shy playing in it, which they accompanied with a little dance. Red or Black is all forgotten guys.

Nobody watches this show for the celebrities, and this show just wouldn’t work without Ant and Dec. While it might not quite be a vintage year, it is up there. Helen going from zero to hero, Rosemary annoying them all and Kiosk Keith in the jungle are some personal highlights. I love Kiosk Keith, more of him please.

It’s a show which I can only put down its popularity to its hosts and the mix of celebrities. While you might not have heard of some of them, the most important thing is that they don’t get on. Throw in the fact they are basically starving and certain people not pulling their weight and people’s masks soon start to slip. It’s quietly turned into my favourite reality show; one that doesn’t outstay its welcome and while it does have new and more horrible tasks each year, it has basically stayed the same. Take note X Factor, you don’t need to keep messing with a winning format.

Bring it on next year. Don’t ever change boys.