After the disaster of Mark Wright's Hollywood Nights and the drubbing that followed it you would think ITV might want to do something a bit different with their new shows. Some new blood and original ideas. Well. You're wrong. The first totally original idea is Peter Andre's Bad Boyfriends Club (NO IT'S NOTHING LIKE E4'S TOOL ACADEMY). He's going to turn the nations hopeless boyfriends into hopeless romantics.
Never has there been someone so untalented but oh so smug.
Calling all ladies!! Is your boyfriend "always watching the football over your shoulder? Does he take less pride in his appearance than he did when you first started dating?" If YOUR relationship is suffering Pete will help!! Yeah, because I'll take advice from a divorced father of 2 who "conveniently" only dates girls who are signed to the same PR company. I mean, really. Here's an idea girls. If you're dating a big fat waste of space who loves football/his mates/everything else more than you, don't call Peter Andre. Just dump the loser. Because I can guarantee if your boyfriend doesn't listen to you, he sure as hell won't listen to Peter "Insania" Andre. What else has ITV up their sleeves?? Dear god, Surprise Surprise is back for a one off special. With Holly "I really don't think I'm on TV enough" Willoughby. It took us long enough to get rid of this shit, why bring it back?
We've got AN AMAZING (yes they use capital letters) new comedy hypnotism game show called I Know What You Did Last Week. A nice, threatening title for a show with Rufus Hound who was found wondering the halls of ITV2 after he didn't want to be on Celebrity Juice any more. I was just thinking we could do with a new hypnotism game show too! It's just an excuse to laugh at idiots who think this kind of show would be a good idea, mainly the after pub crowd. Unless it's got Paul McKenna in it, I don't want it. My favourite must be a show called The Resort. They want to pack off some young people to a beach resort and see what happens. It's TOWIE on a beach (again). So a bit like Made In Chelsea, TOWIE and Geordie Shore but it'll be less regional. Good luck ITV, you're going to need it.
Well, actually it is. I was going to catch up with all the episodes that have been aired. I lasted 20 minutes. Yet there is so much to discuss. I have a bit of a love/hate relationship with ITV2 but with Mark Wright's Hollywood Nights they are really pushing me. Here's the trailer, just in case you don't know what I'm talking about.
Personally I hate that Tommy guy the most. Why don't you get off you're fat arse, get a job then you don't have to have Mark pay for everything for you like some weird hanger-on? Sorry I digress, he just really annoys me.
So the premise is basically Mark Wright wants a 5* holiday with his mates (well, the ones he's contractually obliged to bring. No room for his TOWIE teammate Arg, in more ways than one) and we have to watch it.
Even though it's real (as real as these constructed reality shows can be), Mark tells us that SOME of the show is set up purely for our entertainment. Hey mate, DON'T BLAME US. It really would have been a lot more entertaining if they had actually gone there for work (like they claim in the trailer) instead of fawning over Mark Wright like he's some kind of icon. HE IS NOT.
And what about the rest of his entourage/hangers on? Well, they are horrible. They've got nothing about them, no personality. These women in America would never look twice at this bunch of dullards. One part I did see was this stunning actress (aren't they all?) take Tommy and Nick to a health food store. Tommy, who obviously has never seen a salad in his life, was trying to impress this lady who was so far out of his league she was playing a different sport. He was claiming he loved all this health food while his mate was saying he hated it. He then went on about how much he liked her. Because that's how to catch a woman's heart; lie to her. You'll never get caught out, especially with those cameras following you! Moron. To be honest if she didn't click on that he is a salad dodger then she can't have too much going on with her self.
Urgh, I don't think so.
I hate it. The 3 guys who aren't Mark or Tommy just mould into one and I can never tell who's who because they are all so boring. Also, what is the show actually about? Why are there pranks? Is this supposed to be some kind of Punk'd or was it just an after thought? I don't understand that at all.
Rather unsurprisingly, his ex-TOWIE mates have all said they loved it and even Mark's come out to say TOWIE got panned after it's first episode. Yeah it did but I think people don't want to watch rich, thick guys who think they are god's gift to women swan about on a free holiday.
It's as good as looking at other people's holiday snaps. NEWS FLASH: no one gives a shit.
