Sweet Valley... Worth Revisiting?

Even if you don’t read much now, I’m sure when you were younger there were book series’ that you loved. Goosebumps, The Babysitters Club, Point Horror are the ones that I remember most. I collected them all but my big love was for the Wakefield twins of Sweet Valley High.

I’ve recently rediscovered my love for reading. When I was younger, I loved going into WH Smith’s and finding the newest Sweet Valley Twins books. Then when I got a bit older I nabbed my sister’s Sweet Valley High collection. They were a little more risque; a lot more talk about boys and dating. One book always stuck in my head, I think it was the first one I read. It was called Too Good To Be True and was about some family friend of the Wakefields accusing their teacher of some sort of assault. I don’t think I really understood what what going on, but I knew I wanted to read some more.


For anyone who wasn’t a 12 year old girl, Sweet Valley High was about Elizabeth and Jessica Wakefield. Blonde haired and blue eyed they were all American identical twins. They were completely the same except in their personalities; Elizabeth is the bookish, goody goody, always wanting to help out others and sees the best in people. Then there’s Jessica, the bad girl. Selfish, arrogant and only interested in being popular, she is the polar opposite of Elizabeth.


To be honest; they are both shit.


I’ve only just learnt this however thanks to the new book Sweet Valley Confidential. The tag line goes “Haven’t you ever wondered what happened when Elizabeth and Jessica grew up?” Well, it’s not been a burning question I have to admit. But feeling nostalgic for things from my childhood, I wanted to read it.


What did I learn from this book? That all the Sweet Valley High books were trash. I mean, for one they were terribly written. They all started the same by going on and on about how gorgeous the twins were. And then there is the problem with the actual twins. Elizabeth was so wet; she let Jessica get away with everything. Elizabeth was pathetic. At least Jessica was fun, maybe a bit sluty but at last she had something about her. She was so selfish though, she is unable to be likable. There were loads of friends too, most were useless. The only one I really remember was Lila, Jessica’s friend, who was (surprise surprise) a bitch. The thing in Sweet Valley as well, if you’re a bad person you’d get ill and die (you’d be surprised how many times that happened).


So, back to the book. Basically (SPOILERS!) Jessica steals Elizabeth's boyfriend, dull-as-dishwater Todd (the one she always hated. Well, apparently she’s loved him for years, and he loves her). But it’s okay! Because it’s LOVE! After about 200 pages of Lizzie bitching and Jess whining Liz just forgives her. I don’t really know why. Because they’re twins maybe? We don’t know. It’s obvious from page one that LIz will forgive Jess (just like she always does), Jess and Todd will get married (because they really don’t care what they did to Elizabeth) and Liz will get together with her ‘best friend’ Bruce who, conveniently, has been in love with her for 10 years.


I used to love these books but Sweet Valley Confidentiality is such crap. Don’t get me wrong I love a good angst ridden story but this is lame. Somehow Liz ends up feeling sorry for Jess and ends up as maid of honor for her wedding. Don’t give me this “oh they’re twins with a special connection, YOU WOULDN’T UNDERSTAND.” Love conquers all? IT’S YOUR SISTER’S BOYFRIEND. Jess is soulless. I hate Elizabeth for being so feeble and I hate Jess for being a cow. I never read any of the Sweet Valley University (they had murders, affairs and fights apparently; very busy) but after reading this one I’m pretty sure I missed out on nothing. I would have been up for a new Sweet Valley High movie but honestly after this I don’t think you can make the twins likable.

The saddest thing about the book is that it says that whatever you were like in high school is the person you will be forever. People don’t change. Jess will always be selfish as long as she can justify it and Elizabeth will always be a pushover when it comes to her twin. They deserve any shit that happens to them. The TV show was pretty rubbish too, I should just try to remember the twins from the cool book series I read when I was a tween.