The X Factor Blog: Holiday Time at Judges' Houses

It’s Judges’ Houses this week, where Dermot gets to go on 4 holidays in quick succession. Louis is in Las Vegas with Sharon Osbourne and her unmovable face, Nicole and Ne-Yo are in Dubai, Tulisa’s vile yellow hair and Tinie Tempah are in St. Lucia and Gary is at a lovely mansion in the heart of England with *SURPRISE* Cheryl Cole! So expect some waterworks and bad decisions as the judges whittle it down to the final 12.

CC flies in.

There were some easy decisions; Ella was always going through from the first audition. There were some obvious decisions; who was Brad in Gary’s category? Of course your lack of airtime means you aren’t making the live shows. There was a female version of The Peter Andre Principle in Jade Ellis. She’s got a kid don’t you know. She wants her kid to have nice things. And yes, she could just get a “normal” job but isn’t it better she goes on a TV talent show where she’s away from her kid for a few months? Then if she does win it she’ll be away from home even more! The money is much better than her being at home? Right? RIGHT? 

There seems to be an over abundance of crying this year too. And deary me, all the girls looked horrendous with their make-up running down their face. While we are on the subject of crying, how can we not mention Rylan in the most unconvincing performance in X Factor history? He is nowhere near as entertaining as Jedward, Wagner or even Chico. But he is about as annoying as Katie Waissel and Kitty Brucknell. They could at least hold a note though, whereas Rylan is just terrible. And why was he dressed as a Jedi? There was no way he wasn’t going through though, the X Factor needs an act like him; someone to divide opinion.

Another contestant I was a bit unsure about is Lucy Spraggan. While you can’t deny her first audition was extremely popular, the comparisons with Victoria Wood are obvious, but does she belong in this competition? She only had that one good audition, all her others have been quite average and she how will she cope singing Disco, Motown or Big Band? Let’s be honest, not all her songs are going to be as fun as her first. The other song she has sung was really forgettable; while they mean something to her, they aren’t actually very good. Tulisa made the biggest Gamu-shaped mistake this year; Amy should have gone through at the expense of Lucy who belongs on Britain’s Got Talent.

Lucy and that fucking guitar...

A few random irritations. What is Tulisa talking about when she’s on about her “muffins”? The guy who left MK1 for 33% must be happy, good luck trying to collect on that. I can’t stand the “it’s not good news… IT’S GREAT NEWS” line. It’s so annoying and lame. Stop it. And the unsurprising surprise twist involves the public picking up the phone for their favourite wildcard. Surely it must be Amy. Won’t it?

Cheryl Cole makes her “comeback” this week with best bud Gary. I’m convinced she wants her spot back on the panel and this is her little way of seeing if the public would take her back. She’ll be back as full time judge next year, and we’ll have Gamu auditioning too. Hey producers! You can have that story line if you want. I want 33% though please.

Final thought. We’ve got the final 12 but where’s my wind tunnel and classy make-overs that we always get? The Celebrity Squares format was not working for me.

Also, the contestants have sang Emile Sandi’s Read All About It now. You’ve used that song choice up, that’s it, once only, no more. LET’S NEVER HEAR OF IT AGAIN (Wishful thinking).