The X Factor Blog: Apparently It's Number Ones Week

The theme this week was Number Ones, but really it was sing whatever song you want I'm sure it was number one in Bosnia and Herzegovina once. Honestly it was a bit tedious. Lucy Spraggen was too ill to perform this week, down will the flu the producers tell us. Can’t say I’m bothered, she is starting to bore me with her strange ways of “singing” and that god damn guitar.
 

Kye Sones; nobody's favourite chimney sweep.

But enough of what we didn’t have this week, let’s get on to what we did have. There was Nicole who went to Essex with Rylan and they just happened to go to Amy Childs salon (I was wondering what she was up to. ITV1 is definitely a step up on Peter Andre: It’s My Sad Little Life and You Will Watch It and Love Me on ITV2). Nicole is not bad at accents, I’ll give her that. On her adventures, Nicole also went to Asda with Jahmene and dressed up in the lovely green uniform. Something tells me she never would have ended up working in Asda if the Pussycat Dolls hadn’t formed.

I can barely remember any of the performances as they were mostly terrible and they only about three UK number ones between them. Apparently if it a number one hit in New Zealand, that’s okay. Kye was terrible, Rylan was rubbish and District3 are useless. Of course Christopher Maloney was as bad as any of them but he is like human Teflon, nothing sticks to him. Say is quietly, but he might win. Seriously. It will be a total “up yours” to Simon and the producers who keep trying to convince us this is the best ever line up of talent and that Tulisa is a good judge. It’s not and she’s an awful judge of anything.

Fearne Cotton’s best mate Kye left (I knew there was a reason I hated him) so it’s just a matter of time District3 before you’re leaving. Next week it’s the best of British so expect songs from Justin Bieber, Rhianna and maybe some Katy Perry. Honestly, why even have themes if you’re not even going to try a tiny bit.