So, we're just going to let the egg thrower be the main talking point on BGT are we? Yeah because there's not much else to talk about.

Britain's Got Talent is over for another year, a Hungarian act won but a stage invasion dominated the headlines. To be fair, the final was all a bit dull in the end. Too many kids, too many singers and a lot of over over hyped acts all equalled to a very long evening. So when people like Jack Carroll, Attraction and Steve Hewlett come along they automatically stand out a mile. Steve Hewlett was a worthy wild card winner, it's a shame there weren't any magicians or better dancers in the final. Attraction were the best act of the competition but their final performance didn't have any of the emotion punch of the other two. Jack Carroll was good, he was always going to finish high and the judges obviously wanted him to win. Was anyone else surprised by the lack of support Francine had in the end? She only ended up with 2% of the vote, maybe people were fed up of the Jordan routine especially that horrible song at the end.

The big story of the evening however was a Natalie Holt rising from her seat in the orchestra and pelting Simon Cowell with some eggs. How she got the eggs in, and actually to the edge of the stage is anyone's guess. Her reasons for doing so were obviously nothing to do with being a fame hungry attention seeking brat. Oh no. She wanted to start a debate about Cowell's power and influence in the industry. Something which is hard to believe as she previously audition for BGT a year ago and was basically working for him on the final. So, she's quite happy to be on television but not too happy being a backing musician. Also, she looked far to happy with herself.  Very rarely will I agree with Amanda Holden but she had it right when she called her a "stupid cow."

She might have been angry at Cowell's influence but that doesn't stop her wanting to be part of the show did it? The final was nowhere near as good as previous ones, especially the Diversity/ Susan Boyle one, no matter how hard the judges were trying to convince us. However you know exactly what you're getting with BGT. Four judges with not much to say, a few sob stories, little kids not understanding irony and Ant and Dec. You either love it or hate it. See you next year, maybe they'll unearth some talent that we haven't seen before. Yeah, maybe.

Is Ant & Dec's Saturday Night Takeaway the Best Thing On Television?

While watching Ant & Dec's Saturday Night Takeaway last night I felt like I had been thrown back about 15 years. Yes, partly because we were treated to a performance from PJ & Duncan (there's the next band for ITV2's The Big Reunion) but also because shows like this just don't exist anymore. It's basically Noel's House Party but without Mr Blobby. The Ant & Dec Undercover (Gotcha!), Little Ant & Dec (Wait 'til I Get You Home, just without the annoyed parents) all of the talking to the audience and revealing some weird secret of theirs or just trying to embarrass them (very similar to NTV). This isn't a bad thing. I think Saturday night TV has been crying out for something like this for a while. It's been 4 years since this show has been on air and they really seemed to have honed everything about it. When it first started, it was all about the audience member winning the contents of a certain ad break, when they clocked on we weren't too bothered about that (but we did want to know what sort of car it was) they concentrated on the other aspects of the show. 

Little Ant & Dec are okay, I did love it when they got the others ones came back at the start of the series; Ant & Dec's comedy timing is pretty good. I'm A Celebrity Get Out Of Me Ear may be a ridiculously forced pun on their other titan of a show but it works really well. Emma Bunton and Louis Walsh were game which made it all the more funnier. But by far my favourite item of the show is the End of the Show Show. The first one with Robbie Williams was okay but since them, it's really impressed me. I thought the boys did a fantastic job with Spellbound, they actually put some real effort in. And the Riverdance was really impressive too. Then when they bust out PJ & Duncan last night I was speechless. Why, when watching The Big Reunion I didn't ever think "I'd love to hear Let's Get Ready To Rhumble" I don't know. It's sitting pretty at number 6 in the iTunes chart as I type. 

The ratings have been a huge success, probably more the ITV dared hope for. There hasn't been much competition for it though so when The Voice returns to BBC One for it's second series next Saturday it will be interesting to see how it holds up. Personally, I think Ant & Dec have nothing to worry about as they have a solid family entertainment show in their hands. I can't even think of anything similar to it at the moment, it really is one of the best things on television at the moment. The Voice will probably have a big start but let's see what happens in a couple of weeks. Britain's Got Talent is also back soon so they are going to be the kings of Saturday nights. 

Is there any stopping Ant & Dec? Let's hope not. 

The X Factor Blog: Anyone Seen Nicole?

It’s an X Factor double bill weekend so that’s more guest judges, more guitars and more wannabes. Also, while I think about it, has anyone seen Nicole Scherzinger? She’s the fourth X Factor judge, ex-Pussycat Doll? She was around a bit at the start of the series but seems to have disappeared? No worries, I’m sure she’ll turn up. One way or the other. 

Was she ever seriously considered for the 4th judge?

So, Geri Halliwell turned up this week and if you thought last weeks contestants were grating then get ready for Geri. One Spice Girl was more than enough, who’s bright idea was two? Yes, they were are fun band in the 90s but let’s move on that shall we? Geri is possibly the most annoyingly needy person I’ve seen on any TV talent show. When she started speaking in a Scouse accent and arguing with Gary about who sold more records, dear god the nation was losing the will to live. We only have ourselves to blame though. We bought those Spice Girl records, over a DECADE AGO. She thinks we still love her. She just tries too hard to please everybody, thank goodness she wasn’t the rumoured 4th official judge. Honestly, Sinitta would have been a better choice. Think about that for a moment. SINITTA. 

To the contestants. And we had Jason from Vietnam who kept saying “Tulisha”. My, my the judges couldn’t get over that, it was getting quite uncomfortable when they kept shouting at him “TULISSSSSSSA!” It’s a stupid name anyway and the guy has an accent. He was better than they thought at least. 

Let’s talk about MK1. The N-Dubz wanna-band (why, why WHY model yourself on such a heinous group?) had the age old X Factor decision of dumping the runt of the litter; a complete dork who I’m convinced had an elaborate plan all along. He knew he was shit, but was waiting for the moment to say “I’ll go but I want 33% of your future earning.” Good luck with that one mate. Is that a binding contract? 

Then there’s some idiot who calls himself Eddy String. “The new Frankie Cocozza” people were claiming. He looks like a walking STD, and yet another gobshite. My goodness the producers are scraping the barrel this year.

The least offensive picture I could find.

And while we are talking about scrapping the barrel what about Lorna Bliss. That lap dance was horrendous to watch. If I was working backstage on the X Factor I’d have to think about my life choices as I pushed her towards the stage. The Britney Spears look-a-like who has been on so many TV show; Snog, Marry, Avoid, Dating In The Dark and most worryingly Britain’s Got Talent, among others. Why is BGT most worrying? Because it means the ITV producers knew EXACTLY what they were getting with her. They knew she was crap but gave a bit of shock value to, let’s be honest, a slightly underwhelming series so far. It screams out that they have no new ideas left and that there is nowhere else for this show to go. The judges aren’t helping either, they are just too bland. They all have good and bad points but none of them make this show must watch television any more. And that’s the problem. I can’t stand Bruce Forsyth (how OLD IS THAT MAN?) and the smuggest women on TV Tess Daly but I have a feeling Strictly Come Dancing might make better TV this year. If they got some better hosts I would turn over in an instant. The dancers may not wear much more than a Britney Spears look-a-like body stocking but they look classier. 

One final thought; let’s take a moment to think about the state of Louis Walsh’s hair. What the hell is going on there? 

The X Factor Blog: The Return Of The Sob Story

What is the X Factor without it's sob stories? Some may say The Voice, but even they knew the power of some over egged life story. ("My goldfish got ill, this is for you Sharky!") We are getting into the swing of things in episode 2 with some massive sob stories and a familiar face (if you were one of about 5 people who watched a Sky Living reality TV show).

What would you call this look?

Let’s say hello to Rylan Clark; Fake Baked to within an inch of his life, hair straightened, manicured and made up. Why did no one mention he has been on another show, Signed By Katie Price? He was the runner up, or as he likes to put it “the male winner.” Singing the song “Kissing You “ from Romeo + Juliet (he didn’t know the artist- it’s Des’ree) it was actually an Ibiza remix. Great choice for a singing competition. But I would never mention Des’ree as all I ever think of is this when I hear her name. Gary (or “G” as Rylan named him) was the only one who said his voice was weak. They had a lot of build up on him so there was no way they were going to say no to such a “personality.” Louis didn’t get it but I have a feeling he doesn’t get a lot that goes on around him. 

Everyone loves it when somebody brings a guitar to the party.

I mentioned it before, especially on The Voice and Britain's Got Talent, but whoever is in charge of the social networking aspect of these shows needs to work harder. #NerveWrack? I never seen one of these trend. And who the hell let guitars in? Lucy Spraggan I’m looking at you. Compete with yet another horrendous hash-tag, #beerfear, while she was different to what the X Factor is used to I found her to be a cross between Victoria Wood, Ed Helms and Kate Nash. She just will not work on the live shows. Even Matt “credible artist” Cardle had to wear yellow jeans and sing pop. These kind of artists belong on BGT. She’s probably better than “Where’s Me Keys, Where’s Me Phone” but she’s still in the same bracket. How is she going to sing pop songs (when most of her song was talking) and give a big performance? I just can’t see how she fits in later on in the series. 

Fantastic, another guitar. 

We then travel to Newcastle which is renowned for it’s lack of talent when it comes to X Factor auditions. Do they really need to go there now Cheryl Cole isn’t on the panel? Let’s be honest, what’s the point? After a day of pure drivel we get James come on to the stage. Ah, James. I bet the X Factor judges couldn’t believe their luck when you came through the door. Ladies and gentlemen I give you the ULTIMATE SOB STORY.

• Number 1. His parents spilt up when he was young. “That’s okay but we need MORE!” 
• Number 2. He gets suspended from school, and blames his parents. Yeah because that’s one thing he should never do is TAKE SOME RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOUR OWN ACTIONS. 
• Number 3. He volunteered himself for foster care. Keep in mind it’s ALL THE PARENTS FAULT. I can just hear the producer saying “Yes, yes that’s all great but do you know what would be even better? Getting your mum and dad together in a room for the first time in 22 years. DYNAMITE!” 

Sigh. The judges are so moved that these parents can put a side their differences and come together because of the amazing talent their unemployed 24 year old son has. Excuse me if I’m not reaching for the hankies just yet. There’s something I don’t like about him, maybe because he sang a Tulisa song. Sorry, her only song. Another guitar Cardle, I don’t see these people working in the later stages of the competition. 

I’ve not even mentioned Rita Ora. She was nice, but to be honest I don’t know who she is. I did see Tulisa furiously scribbling down notes though when Rita was telling her how she got signed with Jay-Z. Good luck with that, Tulisa. 

Next week we have Geri Halliwell guest judging. Thank god for Sky+. 

So Geri Halliwell Is Going To Be A Guest Judge On The X Factor... Great.

The auditions for this year's X Factor start tomorrow and the powers that be STILL haven't found a replacement for Kelly Rowland. By the sounds of it they were trying very hard for Dannii Minogue but it looks like that has slid through their fingers so we are going to be stuck with "guest judges". I HATE guest judges. As seen on Britain's Got Talent this year, they are rubbish. They aren't used to the surroundings, there's very little chemistry between everyone and when the regular judge comes back is all we get is "Well, I didn't see you at the auditions." "I might not have put you through..." "I can't compare what you've done." THEN MAYBE YOU SHOULDN'T BE ON THE PANEL.

Because it worked so well the first time...

Okay, this is slightly different. Nobody's pregnant or contracted malaria. But why the hell haven't the producers got someone ready? When your number one choice falls through, go to your number two. People know when these auditions are, they haven't been sprung on them at the last minute.

So somehow they've convinced Geri Halliwell to come on board. Bet she took loads of persuading. It seems like a really dull choice to me. She was rubbish on Popstars: The Rivals and she was rubbish on The X Factor a few years back. Maybe she was available and that was that. I don't know; it just seems really lacklustre this panel. Let's be honest, last year's show wasn't amazing. Kelly was just TOO American (which made Alexandra "OKDOTCOM" Burke think the public wanted that much enthusiasm), Gary was a bit dull, Tulisa was really lame (that "feisty side" she kept promising? Kate Middleton would have been more threatening) and Louis, well. I don't know what to say about Louis anymore.

No one else has been confirmed and they've not said how long Geri is going to be on the panel. All I know is, it was bloody rubbish when this happened last time. Natalie Imbruglia, Pixie Lott, Nicole Scherzinger, and Katy Perry (now, THAT seems a life time ago) all joined the panel at some point in 2010 and it just made it a bit dull. There was never really any chemistry between them and it spoiled the audition process. 

The USA version has Britney Spears, we get Geri Halliwell?? 

Sort it out Simon. Must try harder.

The Voice- Live Shows Week 3

Week 3 of The Voice and while ratings slide we're in for a cull as 4 singers are cut from the show and we have the contestants singing with their coaches. Back into the limelight are Team will.i.am and Team Tom.

Team will.i.am.

Britain's Got Talent shouldn't worry them; the final was always going to be big so this week would always be a bit of a struggle ratings-wise. So (intentionally or not) they've "done an X Factor" and *shock* will get rid of 4 contestants.

There has been a lot of bad buzz around the live shows. People have been comparing it to that other BBC classic reality TV show Fame Academy ("Stop Living The Lie"); saying it's too nice, it's too dull, it's too slow. And for some reason they're right. It's not terrible, it's just a bit boring. I enjoyed the coaches and their contestants singing together, but really what was the point?

I've all but gone off the results show, just catch on playback and watch it in 5 minutes. I've seen enough VTs to last me about 10 series of The Voice.

But anyway; 4 contestnats left this week. Matt & Suleen and Adam (THANK YOU!) from Team Tom and Frances and Joelle (WHAT?) from Team will.i.am. Was I the only person who really liked Joelle?

Far too much going on this week and we've got it again with Team Jessie and Team Danny. Is it just me or are we rattling through the live shows? It'll be the final in a couple weeks.

One last question... Why does Holly get changed for the results show when 1. the judges don't and 2. we all know it's recorded on Saturday night?? Pointless. 

A Non-Returning Misfit, X Factor Global Commitments and Amanda Holden Being Kind Of A Bitch

Lots of stories floating round Celebville this week and some not too nice at all.

No more Kelly unfortunately. 

A story I had no idea was going on concluded in court this week when Lauren Socha (Kelly in Misfits) pleaded guilty to racially aggravated assault on a taxi driver. It's such a sad story; one, it's a truly horrible attack and something I would never wish on anybody and two; why would she do this when she had such a promising acting career in front of her? She was my (and many others) favourite character, so in a totally obvious move, E4 have confirmed she will not be returning to the new series. She also won a BAFTA for Best Supporting Actress last year so was clearly going places. E4 did say that her return was agreed months ago and is not connected to conviction but I find that hard to swallow. So that leaves Curtis as the only original (and possibly the dullest) character left in Misfits. But I'll wait and see, I was proved wrong when Nathan left so hopefully there's life in the show yet.

She can stop doing that as well.

In other news we've definitely got a new judge on The X Factor along with 3 returning ones. Not sure what Louis Walsh has over Simon Cowell but there he is, once again. Tulisa (her sex tape has literally done her only good) and miserable dad figure Gary Barlow is back. So that just leaves poor old Kelly Rowland out in cold. Her spokesman says it's down to her "global commitments" I say it's more to do with the the sickie she pulled last year. I've heard some excuses but I'm going to use "global commitments" next time I need to get out of a fix. It's a shame as she started off as a great judge but something happened to her on the live shows; people just ended up hating her. At least she can be rest assured that she will never be as terrible at Alexandra Burke. Again, I found Gary and Tulisa much better in the earlier stages. Tulisa especially turned out not to be so smart with her comments; Misha B and "Bully-gate" come to mind.

It's the only photo I could find...

Another story that caught my eye was Amanda Holden saying that she has watched Tulisa's sex tape. OK, why are you telling us that? Even if she was asked about it she could have politely declined to answer. And then she said it was Alesha who sent it to her. Kind of a douche thing to do; Alesha Dixon wasn't there to defend herself, so why would Amanda bring her into it? Not really fair on Tulisa either who has been pretty honest and upfront with it and I think just wants to forget it. It just makes Amanda look nasty and bitter; she always seems so jealous of other women. She wasn't very nice about Kelly Brook when she was on the Britain's Got Talent panel for about 4 days. It seems a really sly and underhanded thing to say when everyone else has moved on; it's not like her past is whiter than white. Check yourself Holden before you wreck yourself; you won't be in Cowell's favour forever.

ITV2 Is The Reason We Can't Have Nice Things

"First of all, never bad mouth Synergy." Jack Donaghy, 30 Rock

I'm pretty sure that this is the mantra of ITV2.  I have a love/hate relationship with ITV2. Yes, I can watch TOWIE and know who's going out with who, I can even sit through Judge Judy and I don't mind catching American Idol when it's on. But what I hate, hate HATE is the way everything links. And most of it is to do with reality TV.

The titles that literally took 5 seconds to think of, Britain's Got MORE Talent (debatable), The XTRA Factor (it's on long enough), the tediously titled I'm A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here... NOW! and Take Me Out: The Gossip (Take Me Out... AGAIN would have been better). I watch the sister shows on ITV1, I enjoy them, some of the time, but these "spin-offs" are beyond shit.

And what about the presenters? Well, we have cheeky chappy (read: extremely annoying) Olly Murs presenting The Xtra Factor after appearing on The X Factor and now he has a new reality show Olly: Life on Murs. A show I'm sure that they came up with the title first then decided let's just film his tour. Oh! And get the fans involved via Twitter!! Twitter keeps ITV2 in ideas.

I hate men in hats. 

Then we've got Take Me Out: The Gossip with TOWIE's Mark Wright. I'm not really sure why other than he has been on an ITV2 programme. I remember I'm a Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here... Now! had Matt Willis presenting it,  after he won it one year but now they've got some girl and a couple of lame comedians.

AND THEN THERE'S THE REALITY TV SHOWS. Like previously mentioned, Olly: Life On Murs and the ground breaking Peter Andre: My Life are the biggest shows on ITV2 at the moment. On Peter Andre's show we learn he loves his Ferrari, his music, his fans AND DON'T FORGET THE KIDS. Also CAN Associates client and ex girlfriend Elen Rivers might just pop in for a cup of tea. And I'm guessing you'll probably see other CAN clients Amy Childs and husband and wife team Nicola McLean & Tom Williams who Pete just happens to be BEST FRIENDS WITH.

Some books Peter Andre is trying to read.

And possibly the most heinous offender, Celebrity Juice. I'll be honest, I've seen the show and sometimes Keith Lemon is funnier than he ought to be. But why the hell are Fern Cotton and Holly Wiloughby on it? Oh, because she's on ITV1's flagship daytime TV programme! And she's dragged her best friend along. Neither are funny, in fact they are painfully unfunny and this show really doesn't sit well with Holly's cosy family life she's built up on This Morning, so much so I'm surprised ITV1 would want her doing it at all. It's rude and crude and they look like idiots; we're laughing at you not with you. And what about the guests? Well just this year we've had Christine Bleakly (Daybreak), Phillip Schofield (This Morning), Jonathan Ross (The Jonathan Ross Show), Chris Fountain (Coronation Street and Dancing on Ice), Matt Cardle (X Factor winner), Caroline Flack (The Xtra Factor) I COULD GO ON!

They've all gone to the same hairdresser. 

I'm all for a bit of synergy but not to the point when Corrie and Jeremy Kyle have a cross over. (THIS HAPPENED). It's just sometimes it's a bit too much ITV, don't be afraid to look a bit further a field for different ideas. If you rely on BGT, I'm A Celeb... and The X Factor for ideas then you'll come unstuck sooner rather than later.

What's Up With BGT?

It can't just be me who thinks Britain's Got Talent has been really disappointing this year. Battles in the media with The Voice, some really mediocre acts, loads of hash tags, Amanda Holden; are we over Britain's Got Talent?

The only shining light is David Walliams- he is perfect for BGT. Makes he think why didn't they have a comedian from the beginning? Michael McIntyre was good last year but this job was made for David. He seems to be the only judge who doesn't give a toss what Simon Cowell thinks.

So, I've come up with a few suggestions on how to improve the show:

1. Get people on the panel who have something to say.

Why do the women on BGT always come across as dull? Amanda Holden is truly the most insipid person on panel shows at the moment. She has nothing to say and always looks to see what face Simon is pulling before deciding what she thinks of each act. I hated Piers Morgan but at least he had his own mind and said what he thought. I like Alesha Dixon but she is just a void. And I thought The Hoff was bad.

2. Get rid of Stephen Mulhern.

I'm not sure why, but this guy just doesn't belong on even ITV2. He thinks he's as good as Ant & Dec; he's not. He's always on This Morning promoting BGT-I'm sure he's just doing all the crap And & Dec can't be bothered to do. The thing I hate, which I suppose I can't blame him for, is the fact ITV seem to be trying to make him into the next big thing in presenting. Why are ITV trying to find him shows? What the hell was that The Big Quiz: Benidorm vs Essex he did on Sunday? It's just a massive ITV love in, I despise shows like that. Go back to doing magic; you were alright at that.

3. Give it a break next year.

Give it a year off, it might refresh it. It gives people a chance to miss it, and hopefully some more time for better acts to appear.

4. Talk less about other shows, concentrate more on your own.

Stop with these stupid media battles in the press, The Voice has beaten you at the minute. Suck it up and improve the show- get some good acts into the final, tell the judges to pull their socks up and have some constructive comments to say. David Walliams is naturally funny; Simon, Alesha and Amanda are not.

5. Decide what you're looking for

People always say "why are there singers in the competition?" I agree to a point, but Susan Boyle wouldn't have gone on X Factor would she? Neither would have Paul Potts. Maybe don't bother too much with the young, cute singers who obviously WOULD make the cut for Simon's other reality show. It just makes it boring. I want to see magicians, basketball acts and dance troupes. Leave the singers for The Voice and the X Factor.

These might work but of course, it maybe that we've just found all the talent Britain has to offer.

The Voice Blind Auditions... Part 1

So the BBC's answer to the X Factor arrived last week in the form of The Voice. I've talked about it slightly before it started last week but having had a chance to watch the first couple of episodes I have to say, I think it's not too bad. An American import where contestants are judged only on their singing ability by competing in Blind Auditions. There are four judges with their backs to the contestant and if they like what they hear they buzz them in and their chair turns round.

On first impressions it does seem like any other TV talent show, and really it is. But it has enough originality to make it worth while. The produces of the show invited acts to come audition instead of having open auditions so you know from the start they can actually sing. The good thing about that is there are no joke acts, the bad thing; there are no joke acts. Everyone is very SERIOUS. And how do we know it’s a serious music completion? They are playing acoustic guitars; that’s a dead give away. By the end of the Blind Auditions each judge should have ten members on their team, Avengers-style.

So in the first couple of episodes we had the obligatory ex boy band member; Sean from 5ive. Nobody wanted him. It does seem a bit harsh when that happens. Especially after Jessie J admitted that 5ive was the first concert she went to. Ouch.

We also had a singer from the West End, Kerry Ellis. You name it, she’s been in it. So when she was trying to make that last note stretch I didn’t feel too bad for her when no one buzzed as she already has an amazing job.

It was also interesting to see how the judges interacted with each other. They were quite feisty when it came down to getting contestants to choose them. I thought everybody would want to go with will.i.am just because he can sell records, love him or loathe him, but he seemed to struggle to recruit certain contestants. Danny from The Script seems to be doing alright, he's going down a treat with the guitar playing guys at least. The young girls love Jessie J and the slightly older contestants want Tom. I'd go will.i.am but I seem to be in the minority.

The name dropping is fantastic ; Tom Jones’ story about when he went to Hawaii to play guitar with Elvis was amazing. He has some tales to weave, that’s for sure.

There’s obviously going to be a few more weeks of the Blind Auditions which is a good idea. If the X Factor and Britain’s Got Talent has taught us anything it’s viewers like to see a journey on talent shows.

While the contestants are singing it’s actually quite nerve racking waiting to see if they buzz or not. There are still a couple of sob stories, not quite as bad as X Factor but they’re there.

I think they should have given the judges a mic instead of this subtitled mouthing that is going on. It’s good to hear what they’re thinking. Also the pretending to move their hands is getting old; push the button or don’t.

Reggie Yates and Holly Willoughby have the Ant & Dec/ Dermot role of waiting backstage and talking to the families. They haven’t really had much to do yet, we’ll see when the live shows start how good they are.

For me, the biggest test will be when the second round comes. I don’t know how The Voice works but surely after the first round it’s based on the complete package just like X Factor?

Some of the reviews haven't been too kind to the show; saying it is tooth-less and they are all too NICE to the contestants. But that's what you get when you invite established, or at least half decent singers. I think it'll come into it's own when we have the teams and the judges start to mentor them.

The Voice isn’t a rival to Britain’s Got Talent, they are two different shows. I’m definitely hooked on The Voice; I’ll watch BGT on ITV Player later.

The Voice Vs Britain's Got Talent

What a week for reality TV. We've got the return of The Apprentice (I'll come back to that another time) and one hell of a Saturday night. It's the return of Britain's Got Talent and new show on the block The Voice. Titans will clash!




Where to start? How about the judges, as let's be honest, they are the main reason we watch these shows. Simon Cowell is back on the panel with the juggernaut that is Britain's Got Talent. And, thank goodness he is back. As much as I love Michael McIntyre (the only judge I did like last year) the show seemed to get even worse when Cowell joined in at the live stages. He didn't know what the hell was going on, so he couldn't really say if they got better or worse, only that he probably wouldn't have put them through. On the other side we have Tom Jones (he's top judge right?) who has been quite vocal about the obvious rivalry between the two shows. He's been quoted as saying "I have problems when people who have never got up on a stage to sing judge those who do. Who are they to say? Simon Cowell is a record man, not a singer." He reckons The Voice has the edge as all 4 judges are singers. Interesting comment but BGT isn't all about singers. I'll get to the talent later. The Voice seems to be competing, and arguing, with the X Factor. Someone should tell them it's not on yet.

On the rest the BGT panel we've got stalwart Amanda Holden who brings literally nothing to the panel. Sure she's a nice women, and okay she's on the stage but the only thing I remember her for is marrying Les Dennis and then having an affair with Neil Morrissey on the set of Happy Birthday Shakespeare, a lame BBC drama. She's the Louis Walsh of BGT. She's like a barnacle but with pretty dresses and nice hair.

Then we've got the 2 new recruits David Walliams and Alesha Dixon. Alesha obviously isn't going the way of Kelly Brook (I think she might have been alright if you gave her some time) and hopefully she'll bring some Tulisa style "attitude" from the X Factor. As long as it's but not the Alexandra Burke kind of attitude OK DOT COM. And David Walliams has made me laugh on the trailer that was released last week, alright it was because he was doing a funny run but I still laughed. He's a direct swap from Michael McIntrye, so here's hoping he is funny.





On The Voice we've also got Jessie J, will.i.am and Danny O'Donoghue. Well. Jessie J is so hot right know, she makes sense but it's not like she has LOADS of experience. But then it didn't do Cheryl Cole no harm. I liked her on Judges' Houses on X Factor though so I think she will hold her own. I can't stand Black Eyed Peas and will.i.am's music but someone does, they can't be that popular without a whole lot of fans. And he is quite a well respected producer, so again, fair enough. Now who the hell is Danny O'Donoghue? I went from thinking it was Daniel O'Donnell to Danny from McFly, but finally found out he was from The Script. Now, excuse my lack of music knowledge but I have no idea who The Script are, they ring a slight bell but I couldn't name any of their songs. Who knows what he will be like?

Personally I think BGT has reached it's peak and that was a few years ago with the Diversity Vs Susan Boyle final. That was great TV. Diversity's routine was beyond amazing, I even remember voting for them. And let's not forget Susan Boyle's audition, something they've not been able to pull off since. Reality TV at it's best. There is no other show in the world that would have put them together. The Voice is just another singing show with a tweak to the format. It all depends on the calibre of contestants really.

I can't remember who won last year on BGT, so they really need something special this year. Same goes for The Voice. Without good contestants it's just 4 judges sitting at a table moaning at people.

The so-called ratings battle will probably be won by BGT but can they keep the viewers? We'll know soon enough. Yeah television!