The X Factor Blog: The Final Countdown

After endless hours of tiresome cliches, dull contestants and Louis Walsh's ever changing hair we have finally made it to the end. In what was of the longest weekends of our lives, (2 hours on Saturday night AND 2 hours on Sunday? Ridiculous) we had our winner crowned.  James Arthur, that of the awful glasses, shirt pulling and the "I realllllllllllly mean these lyrics, man" beats little ol' Chicken Jahmene and everybody's favourite 80s crooner Christopher Maloney. Who topped the vote for the first 7 WEEKS. Impressive.

The musical guests were a real let down as most of them had been on the show already this series. I can't have Rhianna, One Direction or Emili Sande shoved down my throat any more. The show was over bloated, contained little singing from the finalists and was a bit of a damp squib in the end.

Let go Kye!

Personally, I was rooting for Jahmene but I was not bothered at all by who won. Lacklustre is the best way I can describe this series. It just seemed like a massive disappointment, partly due to the average acts, but the blame mostly falls on the judges who are now convinced that they are the real stars of the show.

Nicole has been nothing short of fantastic this year; what a revelation and thank goodness she was there because without her the live shows might have crumbled. Gary, while a very credible recording artist you can't help feeling the first live results show put the nail in the coffin for his X Factor career. Tulisa was getting worse and worse press as the series went on; and she wasn't totally blameless.  She was looking defeated before Ella went and afterwards she obviously didn't care. And Louis Walsh. Even he has clocked on how bloody ridiculous he is, now in on the joke he is pointless.

It's a show that I will tune in again for when the new series rolls around. There was a time when I claimed I'd not watch it anymore or at least not as much but I get sucked in every time. EVERY TIME. The problem is though it's not must see TV anymore; and until it finds that missing piece that makes the X Factor fun again, people will continue to turn off. I'm not sure if Simon's return would have the effect they are after; saying that though people tuned in for Britain's Got Talent to see his return (personally, I thought it was a weak series but I'm not sure anything will ever top Diversity v Su-Bo).

There's loads of time to talk about how to make X Factor better but for now I'm just looking forward to a small break from it. James Arthur, good luck. The male winners of X Factor haven't been bad but they've definitely been unlucky. See if you can break the curse.

Now on to The Voice which is back for a new series. Good?

The X Factor Blog: Of Course Union J Went

There’s light at the end of the tunnel, we are nearly at the end of what feels like the longest X Factor ever. There will be a post mortem, no doubt, but for now let’s see how obvious this semi final actually was. In fact it was pointless. There was never any doubt Union J were leaving. With no judges vote to save them, Maloney seemingly untouchable and people probably now voting for James after his fall into the bottom 2 Union J must have had their bags packed. No matter how many times the judges kept banging on about how they were the “next big boy band” (shut up, Louis) the general public just didn’t want to vote for them.

The “theme” this week was basically just sing a song with words. Some rubbish about sing a song for yourself and one for the win. I don’t know, the producers have really given up with the themes this year. One of the shows biggest disappointments is the lack of thought gone into the weekly themes. Bring back Big Band week. There’s not even much to say about this week, it was dull and very predictable. While not Tulisa’s biggest fan she looked so nervous performing. She just doesn’t have the same presence like Cheryl Cole, nor much of a solo career by all accounts.

Let’s just get to the end quickly and quietly shall we? Reserve your energy because it’s a 2 hour extravaganza on Saturday night where one contestant goes and the winner is crowned on Sunday following another 2 hour, err, “extravaganza”. Guests include the little known Rhianna, the unheard of Emeli Sande and a new little band called One Direction.

All have which performed on the X Factor this year. What a massive anti climax. Must try harder X Factor.

What is I’m A Celebrity Without Ant and Dec?

It’s been a really enjoyable series this year, we’ve had the one contestant that the public want to torture (Helen), a politician who claims they are on there to talk about serious issues (Nadine), a bit of a bossy boots (Rosemary), an 80s singer (Limuli), someone who had to quit (Brian), a token blonde (Ashley) and a man who calls it as it is (Eric). There’s always filler; not their fault but their screen time is probably at the expense of other more mouthy characters. See Linda; who seemed quite nice but the others were a bit more in your face. We’ve also got Charlie who looked like she was going to turn into her on screen character Janine, but turned into the eventual queen and quite a nice girl. Janine would have eaten Rosie Webster for breakfast; don’t stand too close to any cliffs Helen.

Let’s be honest though, we all know who the stars of the show are: Ant and Dec. They have outshone themselves this year. Personal highlights include Dec and his “Evening Prime Minister”, Ant with his Eric Bristow impression but my favourite was Dec giving Ant a birthday card. Not just any card, a musical card with Kajgoogoo’s Too Shy playing in it, which they accompanied with a little dance. Red or Black is all forgotten guys.

Nobody watches this show for the celebrities, and this show just wouldn’t work without Ant and Dec. While it might not quite be a vintage year, it is up there. Helen going from zero to hero, Rosemary annoying them all and Kiosk Keith in the jungle are some personal highlights. I love Kiosk Keith, more of him please.

It’s a show which I can only put down its popularity to its hosts and the mix of celebrities. While you might not have heard of some of them, the most important thing is that they don’t get on. Throw in the fact they are basically starving and certain people not pulling their weight and people’s masks soon start to slip. It’s quietly turned into my favourite reality show; one that doesn’t outstay its welcome and while it does have new and more horrible tasks each year, it has basically stayed the same. Take note X Factor, you don’t need to keep messing with a winning format.

Bring it on next year. Don’t ever change boys.

The X Factor Blog: Normal Service Resumed

It was coming, we all knew it; Rylan has left the X Factor. Love him or loathe him we all ended up talking about him. I really enjoyed some of his performances, but it was the banter with Gary that I will miss. He always gave as good as he got and by all accounts, he was a really nice guy. No one had a bad word to say about him and I loved his swansong where he hugged Gary. He knew he was going. I would have rather Union J went; they are so bland and boring. As usual Louis Walsh is ruining them, as he ruins all the acts he mentors.

Rylan sure has a certain style...

So the semi finals are next week and we have a real threat of Christopher Maloney not only getting to the final but winning. Union J have been in the bottom 2 three times so they have no chance of winning. We all know exactly how this is going to happen. James third, Jahmene second, Maloney the winner. If he wins, that might just be the final nail in the coffin to this show. Not only will they need a massive rethink for next year, but they are going to have to concentrate even more on getting all those viewers back who have given up.

No one seems to know who is voting for Christopher, and he seemed really fed up last week when the judges were giving him absolutely useless feedback. They don’t even know what to say to him anymore. They slate him, people vote. They praise him, people vote. They comment on the scary lasers coming from his eyes, or the crazy dancers around him or that he was singing “For Nandos”; it just doesn’t matter, people vote. It would be funny if he did win; the only act that the judges didn’t take through and he wins. That’ll show up how bloody terrible the judges actually are. There are lots of stories in the press about him; who knows how true they are. Maybe he is getting the sympathy vote; if so then the judges need to start critiquing him properly and not compare him to cornflakes or whatever the hell Nicole was on about. Maybe if they start saying he’s the next global superstar people will get bored of voting for him.

We’ve had Simon Cowell tweeting that he wants people to vote for the people who are their favourites, but maybe that’s what they are doing. A lot of people buy Jane McDonald’s albums, who’s to say they won’t buy Maloney’s music? If they want to find a relevant artist they need to do some drastic changes next year, and stop treating the general public like idiots.

Farewell Rylan for now. I will be very disappointed if you don’t make at least a guest appearance on TOWIE soon.

The X Factor Blog: Everyone Loves The Drama Apart From Tulisa Who Blames Us

So in Guilty Pleasures week Ella, one of the favourites, leaves. The UK has a collective fit, people scream fix and Twitter has a meltdown. In one of the biggest shocks in X Factor history two of the favourites were in the sing-off. James and Ella had the judges practically salivating with every performance. James has started to grow on me slightly while Ella seemed a bit too media savvy for a 16 year old, she had Sylvia Young all about her. I can’t argue with her voice; it is truly amazing but I found her a little dull. She’s a nice girl who has a bit of Leona Lewis and Stacey Solomon about her. It’s probably for the best she didn’t win, she can concentrate on being a teenage instead of the Syco machine chewing her up and spitting her out. The same goes for James, if he wins he will go the Matt Cardle route and no one wants that. Jahmene might benefit from being the winner, mostly for the confidence rather than the contract. They would know how to market him and he has a certain audience already. Union J haven’t got a chance of winning but Simon would probably want them to win the most; easily marketable all they need to do is follow the One Direction mould.

The most unsurprising Dead Lock of all time.

We all know Rylan and Union J are the next ones out, it just depends on the order. X Factor always has one shock that people are outraged about and Facebook groups set up (yeah, that’ll really get Cowell thinking won’t it, a FACEBOOK GROUP) but the X Factor goes on and people forget.

What has annoyed me this year is the way the judges are acting. Apart from Nicole, who is scha-mazing, the other judges look either fed up, disillusioned or just plainly don’t want to be there. Gary has been lost to the cause since week one, the moment Rylan stayed at the expense of his own act. Tulisa is more interested in chasing semi famous guys than mentoring her acts and Louis just sits on the end of the panel stirring it up. When Tulisa was throwing her toys out of the pram saying the public were voting for the wrong people she must have forgot where she was. If we, the public, want to vote for Rylan or Christopher, we will. The more the judges try to tell us to vote for someone, we will do the opposite. Especially with judges like Tulisa who people seem to have quite a strong opinion on. Personally I’m not a fan, she always goes on about being honest but she hasn’t actually got anything to say. She thinks she is urban, but she’s just really a plain Jane. I can’t get over how boring she’s become. She’s constantly in the papers for the wrong reasons; jumping from guy to guy or a horrible sex tape. Now she’s ended up with some average footballer with a pregnant ex- girlfriend who also likes texting call girls who slept with Wayne Rooney. Love, you can do better. It’s going to be her last year on the X Factor anyway; she is possibly one of the worst judges they’ve had. Yes she won last year but maybe, just maybe the X Factor should be less about the judges and more about the talent on stage.

The X Factor Blog: Rylan Spices Up The X Factor

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. I hate mash-ups. But a Spice Girl medley?? I’ll take it! Before we get to Rylan and his best performance so far, we had the judges trying to stick up for their acts. Gary was digging into Dermot because he was supposedly doing Christopher down week after week. To be fair Gaz, Dermot wasn’t the one booing last week, that’s the audience mate. Christopher opens the show with some kind of ten pin bowling inspired theme to Elton John’s “I’m Still Standing.” Maybe it was a slight dig at the judges but it wasn’t as funny as “All By Myself.”

As usual, Nicole is head and shoulders above the other judges

Jahmene was fantastic with his performance of Robbie Williams’ “Angels”. I really think we are looking at this year’s winner. Ella is nice and has a truly amazing voice but doesn’t have much else about her. James is not my cup of tea, there is only so many times you can pull at your shirt just to show us how much it “means” to you. Boring. I’ve also decided that “stripped back” is the new “mash-up”. Let’s nip it in the bud, shall we? Stripped back is another word for dull or not as exciting as the original.

We also had a time filling, pre-recorded performance from One Direction that contained the gruesome five some sitting on stools that sent under 14 year old girls into hysterics. Probably, I don’t know. But I do know that Cowell is laughing all the way to the bank with those boys, as bland as they are. The best singer and lad who seems the nicest is the one no one talks about, I don’t even know his name but when they formed it looked like he was going to be the lead singer. Liam? Yes Liam. The others are far, FAR too smug to actually be very likeable. Teenage girls hey? They’ll buy into any old shit (trust me, I know).

Anyway, to Rylan. Now that’s entertainment. The first performance I’ve really loved from Rylan, however that might be due to the fact it was the Spice Girls. Who hasn’t got a soft spot for the Spice Girls? But it had a sky dive and some dances so everyone was happy. District3 Vs Union J were in the sing off and poor Louis couldn’t decide between his boy bands, which basically sealed District3’s fate. No one cared.

Best of British? A theme they actually kept to. Well done judges. Well done everyone.

The X Factor Blog: Apparently It's Number Ones Week

The theme this week was Number Ones, but really it was sing whatever song you want I'm sure it was number one in Bosnia and Herzegovina once. Honestly it was a bit tedious. Lucy Spraggen was too ill to perform this week, down will the flu the producers tell us. Can’t say I’m bothered, she is starting to bore me with her strange ways of “singing” and that god damn guitar.
 

Kye Sones; nobody's favourite chimney sweep.

But enough of what we didn’t have this week, let’s get on to what we did have. There was Nicole who went to Essex with Rylan and they just happened to go to Amy Childs salon (I was wondering what she was up to. ITV1 is definitely a step up on Peter Andre: It’s My Sad Little Life and You Will Watch It and Love Me on ITV2). Nicole is not bad at accents, I’ll give her that. On her adventures, Nicole also went to Asda with Jahmene and dressed up in the lovely green uniform. Something tells me she never would have ended up working in Asda if the Pussycat Dolls hadn’t formed.

I can barely remember any of the performances as they were mostly terrible and they only about three UK number ones between them. Apparently if it a number one hit in New Zealand, that’s okay. Kye was terrible, Rylan was rubbish and District3 are useless. Of course Christopher Maloney was as bad as any of them but he is like human Teflon, nothing sticks to him. Say is quietly, but he might win. Seriously. It will be a total “up yours” to Simon and the producers who keep trying to convince us this is the best ever line up of talent and that Tulisa is a good judge. It’s not and she’s an awful judge of anything.

Fearne Cotton’s best mate Kye left (I knew there was a reason I hated him) so it’s just a matter of time District3 before you’re leaving. Next week it’s the best of British so expect songs from Justin Bieber, Rhianna and maybe some Katy Perry. Honestly, why even have themes if you’re not even going to try a tiny bit.

The X Factor Results Live Blog Week 4

Week 5 and yet another live blog for the X Factor results show. Who will leave and will there be another DEADLOCK? (Probably.)

They are all the same height... I've never noticed that before.

Strictly Come Dancing: Upping The Production Values For Halloween.

Saturday night TV is always the biggest night of the week and Strictly Come Dancing Vs the X Factor has been going on for years. X Factor has had a lead over its BBC rival for a little while but the tide seems to be turning. SCD has been quietly sneaking up on its more teen friendly foe but this series it’s done one better and actually over taken it. And kept the lead. 

Personally, I’ve never been much of a fan of SCD. I did enjoy the first series but I always kept with X Factor as I thought that was more enjoyable. Loud, full of pop culture references, OTT drama and some truly stupid characters I was always going to choose X Factor over SCD. It was the new Pop Idol and Popstars, and I loved those shows. 

SCD does Thriller... Not the most original but does it matter when it's done this good?

However, I watched SCD with it being a Halloween special and I have to say I was impressed. They really got involved in the theme (which X Factor DID NOT). The costumes, the make up, the song choices, the staging; it was all brilliant. Okay, so I’m not really fussed with the celebrities; I think this show could work with just the general public again. Fern Britton, the cricketer or the soap stars don’t really do it for me. The Olympians are a nice touch but Victoria Pendleton is a bit weepy, I can’t be doing with too much of that. Lisa Riley is a revelation and I’m so glad she is a good dancer and has not turned into a joke act. 

Let’s be clear though. SCD is not perfect. Far from it. There are some truly cringe worthy performances in the “comedy” VTs that the insist on doing. I hate them so much; it made the staged conversations on the X Factor look natural. So they could go. I have no problem seeing how they’ve got on through the week with training, but you lot aren’t comedians so don’t try and be funny. 

There is one other problem for me with SCD and that’s Bruce Forsyth and Tess Daly. I have never seen a more awful presenting duo. Even Des and Mel were better than these two (well, maybe not). Is Bruce messing up the jokes, the joke? If so it’s really uncomfortable. I know he’s nearly 90 but really I think it’s time for some new blood. I just have this horrible vision of him falling over when he’s dancing. Bring in Anton, we all know that's where it's heading. And Tess seems like the most insincere person ever; I would not be able to watch if rumors were true and her husband Vernon Kay got the job. They are the smuggest couple on TV and I couldn’t handle it. Claudia Winkleman would be a better presenter. 

I just can't stand them, alright???

The only thing that I really could have done without is the god awful Gangnam Style dance Bruce and Tess did. I’ve talked about my hatred for this and thought SCD would not have gone there but gone there they did. 

SCD is not everyone’s cup of tea but then neither is the X Factor. I’ll watch this again, but hopefully they’ll easy up on the “hilarious” VTs. They are fucking awful. How can the BBC be so crap at comedy, then so amazing? It’s a mystery (machine). 

The X Factor Blog: X Factor Does (Very Little for) Halloween

It was pretty dull affair this week after the enjoyable Club Classics show. No Lucy Spraggan performance as she pulled a “Diana Vickers” and was off sick. She was put through to next week at the annoyance of some. Always bit of a difficult one this; I’m pretty sure the producers wouldn’t have given a bye to one of the less successful acts i.e. District3, Jade or Kye. 

Jade. She has a young daughter, did you know that?

What also showed X Factor up was how much effort Strictly Come Dancing put in. The X Factor had a couple of kids dressed up as the Droogs from A Clockwork Orange (really family friendly that. You fucking idiots) and Union J hanging about on a car. SCD had the themes from Scooby Doo and Weird Science. CHECK. MATE. 

Where the hell was Brian? Did they give him a week off? Well, they shouldn’t have. If anyone was needed for the Halloween episode, it’s Brian Friedman. And Dermot, I only want to see your double dance from now on. 

What else did I hate about this show? Tulisa looking like a spoilt brat for most of the show. Then, when Gary called her out for having fag ash breath she looked like she was going to blow a gasket. Or cry. Either way it was a bit uncomfortable and not what I expect from a 41 year old man. Although Louis' face was a picture.

ALL of the song choices were rubbish. When will somebody sing “Monster Mash”? Okay, so there’s probably only that, “Thriller” (which was been done numerous times) and the Ghostbusters theme that can be played on a Halloween night, but you know what? The producers wanted that theme so maybe you all should have put a tiny bit more effort into it.  Even just popping along to Pound Land and getting a few costumes would have looked better. Just wrapping someone in toilet roll WOULD HAVE LOOKED BETTER. Take a look at SCD; the make up and costumes were fantastic. The songs were a stroke of genius. MUST TRY HARDER X FACTOR. 

Let’s talk about the sing off. Why have it? Jade was never going to win the competition but she was so much better than Union J. There was never a chance the judges were going to get rid of the “new” One Direction though where they?

Nicole is the only shining light in this show; she looks like she's having fun and she's the only judge I want to hear from.  

One last thing; if I hear one more mash-up from anyone I’m going to throw my remote at the TV. And just watch SCD. 

The X Factor Blog: Battle of the Cheeses and The Scottish Widow in Nightmare Week

Not a bad live show, this one. Here are some observations.

• It contained "The Greatest Dermot Intro... Ever!" The shimmying was of the highest standard, and the editing was brilliant. We also had The Harshest Judging Ever by Gary. He told Kye exactly how bad he was last week, and let's be honest, he was shit.

All because Simon loves Milk Tray...

• Club Classics week turned into Nightmare week. Everybody had a something bad happen to them from losing their voices to losing their beards. Maybe everybody should have just had a week off.

• Why is it only Nicole who looks like they are enjoying the show?

• There were some terrible versions of "club classics"; James Arthur I thought was boring (why do people like him? I don't get it).

• Louis came dressed as a cross between a James Bond villain and the Milk Tray man. AGAIN.

• No idea why Gary was stressing about Ella dancing, it's not like she launched into a massive dance routine it was just some arm waving.

• Tulisa made her best comment of the series comparing Rylan to a Babybel and Christopher to stilton. I liked Christopher singing the theme from Three Men and a Little Lady, but that worries me because where does that leave him to go for Movies Week??

• Club Classics week, it's always shit. Just sing the goddamn song the way it was written. Stop trying to be clever by slowing it down or a rubbish mash up.

• Rylan was a bit meh this week again.

• Lucy kept her flippin' guitar like a safety blanket. If they can't get her to let go of it during Club Classics week then there's no hope.

• I love JLS but it's be nice to get some other good acts on the results show apart from ex contestants. And Emili Sande? I could get her to appear for my birthday party, she's everywhere. At least she didn't sing Read All About It. There was real danger of that happening.

• I have to say I have a little soft spot for Jahmene now.

One last thing...

Why did Brian Friedman come dressed as the Scottish Widow?

Brian Friedman is fast becoming my favourite thing about this show.

Hold on, who left? Oh yeah, MK1. Never mind. 

The X Factor Blog: Gary Barlow and The Overs and Out

So Melanie left in the second sing off of the series. Does anyone care? She was a good singer but never really threatened the competition. By this rate Gary’s work will be over in a few weeks. Kye had a terrible show with a mash up of some Eminem songs without the rap; surprise surprise it was rap but with a capital ‘C’. Then there’s Christopher who everyone seems to hate but if the tabloids are anything to go by he is topping the vote every week.

We also had Rylan and some dancing pandas, which I kind of enjoyed. But I’m still not convinced he’s actually that entertaining. He’s no Jedward or Wagner is he? Unfortunately he is the closest X Factor has got to a fun act and tabloid headlines so he has to stay.

We were all slightly surprised, weren't we?

Thinking about it, Rylan was the most memorable act this week. District3 were terrible and deserved to be in the bottom 2, they won’t last long.

Week 2 and Lucy’s still got her guitar, I want it gone by Club Classics week. She sang Gold Digger. It was weird. And that strange look she was giving her dancers? Well, that was uncomfortable.

I can’t even remember anyone else it was a boring week mostly due to the boring theme ‘Love and Heartbreak.’ For goodness sake, REALLY? In other words, “just sing a ballad,” or “we really can’t be bothered too think about a theme.”

I still haven’t got a favourite contestant, but Nicole is my favourite judge by a mile. Also I want more drama, dammit! AND NO MORE GANGNAM STYLE.

The X Factor Results Week 2 Live Blog

This might not work, but welcome to some live blogging on the X Factor Results Show! Because there aren't enough opinions on the X Factor out there. 

Nicole is way too classy to point, and Gary only gives it the shoulder. Louis, Tulisa- TRYING TO HARD!

The X Factor Blog: Live Shows. Is That Your Final Answer Louis?

Full disclosure; thank goodness the X Factor results show was exactly like it was. Louis dithering, Gary is outraged and the worse singer is saved at the expense of a better, but more forgettable one. But let’s get back to Saturday first shall we? 2 hours and 20 minutes of mostly boredom. Rylan came on but it was too little too late, and he wasn’t as entertaining as the judges thought he was.

There's only one word... UNDERSTATED.

Let’s discuss Dermot and his dancing. What is it with Gangnam Style? Is it a style or just the name of the song? You can explain it to me but I think the truth of the matter is I’m too old and really don’t care. My god I hate “cool” YouTube videos that do the rounds.

First we had the wildcard and it was a bit of a shock as Christopher Maloney went through in front of much more delightful Amy. What the hell was that stupidly dramatic and over the top cry and roll he did? Stuff like that just shows how fake and insincere you are. It was funny how his “crippling nerves” disappeared when he performed on stage. Best putdown of the night goes to Nicole when she said to Christopher, “You might want a little burger with that cheese.” WAMMY. 

Most of the other contestants were also pretty bland. Lucy is one singer that I really have a problem with. One good audition and she has been pretty terrible ever since. She sang her own song which was instantly forgettable and not a patch on the X Factor’s other original song writer Chico and the much catchier, It’s Chico Time. Ella was the best by a mile but that doesn’t always guarantee a win. Misha B was the best last year but look what happened there. Ella is a nice girl but she’ll need something else. People loved Stacey Solomon before Cowell called her a singing candle then that was her chance gone. Saying all that though, she'll be a good girl (hopefully) stay at the headlines and win the whole thing. 

A quick word on the theme of the night. It was Olympic Night; not that they put any effort into it at all. They invited some Olympians but spent about 10 seconds acknowledging them. The theme is always a joke as the judges will just pick whatever song they want. Remember Jamie Afro singing a track off the soundtrack to Gummo. Classic.

How convenient a camera was there.

But to the results night. Dermot was getting angry with Louis, Gary made it obvious who the winner in the sing off should be and Rylan showed he really just can not sing. I loved every moment of it. Yes it’s made loads of headlines. There are screams of it being a fix and “real” talent is losing out to the joke acts but let’s be honest; as nice as Carolynne is she was never going to win. I sometimes think they put acts through like her so they can’t audition anymore. Anyway, she's gone now. We'll probably have forgotten her in a couple of weeks so let's see what Louis can mess up next week shall we?

The X Factor Blog: Holiday Time at Judges' Houses

It’s Judges’ Houses this week, where Dermot gets to go on 4 holidays in quick succession. Louis is in Las Vegas with Sharon Osbourne and her unmovable face, Nicole and Ne-Yo are in Dubai, Tulisa’s vile yellow hair and Tinie Tempah are in St. Lucia and Gary is at a lovely mansion in the heart of England with *SURPRISE* Cheryl Cole! So expect some waterworks and bad decisions as the judges whittle it down to the final 12.

CC flies in.

There were some easy decisions; Ella was always going through from the first audition. There were some obvious decisions; who was Brad in Gary’s category? Of course your lack of airtime means you aren’t making the live shows. There was a female version of The Peter Andre Principle in Jade Ellis. She’s got a kid don’t you know. She wants her kid to have nice things. And yes, she could just get a “normal” job but isn’t it better she goes on a TV talent show where she’s away from her kid for a few months? Then if she does win it she’ll be away from home even more! The money is much better than her being at home? Right? RIGHT? 

There seems to be an over abundance of crying this year too. And deary me, all the girls looked horrendous with their make-up running down their face. While we are on the subject of crying, how can we not mention Rylan in the most unconvincing performance in X Factor history? He is nowhere near as entertaining as Jedward, Wagner or even Chico. But he is about as annoying as Katie Waissel and Kitty Brucknell. They could at least hold a note though, whereas Rylan is just terrible. And why was he dressed as a Jedi? There was no way he wasn’t going through though, the X Factor needs an act like him; someone to divide opinion.

Another contestant I was a bit unsure about is Lucy Spraggan. While you can’t deny her first audition was extremely popular, the comparisons with Victoria Wood are obvious, but does she belong in this competition? She only had that one good audition, all her others have been quite average and she how will she cope singing Disco, Motown or Big Band? Let’s be honest, not all her songs are going to be as fun as her first. The other song she has sung was really forgettable; while they mean something to her, they aren’t actually very good. Tulisa made the biggest Gamu-shaped mistake this year; Amy should have gone through at the expense of Lucy who belongs on Britain’s Got Talent.

Lucy and that fucking guitar...

A few random irritations. What is Tulisa talking about when she’s on about her “muffins”? The guy who left MK1 for 33% must be happy, good luck trying to collect on that. I can’t stand the “it’s not good news… IT’S GREAT NEWS” line. It’s so annoying and lame. Stop it. And the unsurprising surprise twist involves the public picking up the phone for their favourite wildcard. Surely it must be Amy. Won’t it?

Cheryl Cole makes her “comeback” this week with best bud Gary. I’m convinced she wants her spot back on the panel and this is her little way of seeing if the public would take her back. She’ll be back as full time judge next year, and we’ll have Gamu auditioning too. Hey producers! You can have that story line if you want. I want 33% though please.

Final thought. We’ve got the final 12 but where’s my wind tunnel and classy make-overs that we always get? The Celebrity Squares format was not working for me.

Also, the contestants have sang Emile Sandi’s Read All About It now. You’ve used that song choice up, that’s it, once only, no more. LET’S NEVER HEAR OF IT AGAIN (Wishful thinking).

The X Factor Blog: Boot Camp- 72 Hours of Clichés

Let’s welcome Nicole Schenziger back to the panel full time. Anyone who’s been saying she should be dropped in favour of Mel B are crazy. Give her a chance, she hasn’t done anything yet. Mel B had that one montage of nasty comments and everybody was comparing her to some kind of reality TV show monster. The rest of her work was pretty average or dull. Why are we inviting the Spice Girls back into our lives???

So, everybody is back at X Factor Boot Camp again. The horrible VTs continue with us just “dropping by” to see the contestants pack their bags and head off to Liverpool. For most of them though they shouldn’t have got off the National Express as they were dumped before Boot Camp even kicked off in the big surprise twist. The big surprise twist that they did last year. They got a little party with JLS though so swings and roundabouts.

You will be missed Gathan.

The “This is my once in a lifetime opportunity” phrase they keep jabbering on about is a load of rubbish. We all know that the producers will get them to return next year. It should be called the Ex-Factor the ridiculous amount of ex contestants that have got through this far.

My favourite contestant was Gathan. There is a ready made boy band with him, Rylan and Octavio. Make it happen Louis, MAKE IT HAPPEN. Gathan is already convinced he has won the competition, it’s a shame he didn’t make Judges’ Houses. He would have been really entertaining come the live shows.

Anyone who shakes so much and is really nervous about performing, well maybe you’ve chosen the wrong career and you really shouldn’t be a national TV. It is so annoying and it does not endear me to you (see Jahmene, Christopher).

We also had a few shocks. Joseph Whelan, the guy who would give Peter Andre a run for this money in Dad of the year awards, seemed like an obvious choice to go to Judges’ Houses but fell short.

Rylan Clark. You know what the best thing about him? The fact he wears t-shirts with his face on them like it’s the most normal thing in the world.

One of Rylan's many t-shirts.

Where the hell did James Arthur’s Deidre glasses come from? You can’t expect to add them and nobody is to mention them??

How do people let themselves be judged by Tulisa when she decided on having scarecrow straw-yellow hair?

Was there a separate Jade category we weren’t informed about?

We had Simon Cowell’s contractual involvement to try to get the ratings up by ringing the judges to tell them who their category was. Absolutely pointless. Louis has the groups AGAIN. Gary has the Overs, Nicole is with the boys and Tulisa is with the girls. Why did Tulisa shout like that when Simon called her? She pulled possibly the most unattractive face she could have pulled. She does my head in.

So it’s Judges’ House next week. Let’s see who makes a massive mistake and leaves someone great out. It’ll be Louis. It's always Louis.

The X Factor Blog: End of Auditions

It's the last of the auditions this week; they seem to have gone on forever this year, so we end on another double episode full of men fawning over Tulisa, a new tactic to get noticed and Bianca Gascoigne.

First up we have an older gentleman who seems to hate Tulisa. His “average old man audition” didn’t set Tulisa’s ears alight and he was quite forthcoming in his opinion. “It was that fucking Tulisa’s fault.” Calm down granddad!

Don't smile too much Gary.

Rita Ora was back and obsessed with finding someone who knows themselves. What the hell does that actually mean? Especially in a karaoke competition?

Some great sob stories returned this week. The Rebecca Ferguson Story “I had kids young and gave up my DREAM.” Wow, way to blame your children on your existence. There was also a new tactic to getting on stage this week, someone claimed to have gone to school with Tulisa. Now, we know that’s a lie. Tulisa never went to school. She was far too busy being “gangsta” with her cousin and getting terrible tattoos. There was another Jane McDonald-esq wannabe with an annoying Nan, the women claimed she was 33 years old, but I highly doubt that. 

One of the oddest auditions of the weekend was Bianca Gascoigne. Not sure how I feel about ‘celebrities’ (this word is used in the loosest term possible) auditioning. Some ex-contestants don’t know when to say “You know what? I’ve had a couple of goes, it’s not worked out, and it’s time to choose another career.” The judges really shouldn’t tell people they are a star, and this is what they should be doing. Because they probably SHOULD be doing something else. How long before we have X Factor WINNERS auditioning again? Slightly surprised they didn’t let her go to the next round (they let through far worse people) if only for a bit more publicity in the papers.

Not the worse voice of the competition.

The guitars make me want to scream. This isn’t The Voice. And what about Tulisa vs. Louis? Neither are current. Tulisa is so chav-tastic and the whole “I’m really tough” attitude is so weak it’s embarrassing. And Louis “I’ve sold a billion records” or whatever, no one cares what he has to say. Tulisa moaning about fish and chips was a bit weird too, she probably should have just toughed it out.

The section that must have been entitled “Everybody Loves Tulisa” was bullshit. That many men all in love with her doesn’t seem natural. Put Nicole next to her and let’s see who they choose.  

So the auditions are all wrapped up now and Boot Camp awaits. Expect “surprise twists”, people getting kicked out and maybe a band put together of rejects. Not long till the Live Shows, let’s get on with this shall we?

 

True Blood Season 5 Episode 1: Turn! Turn! Turn!

True Blood season 5 started on Monday night on FX and you can call it a lot of things but subtle isn’t one of them. Full of sex, blood and creative swearing it’s still not for the faint hearted.

Read on for my spoiler filled review.

The X Factor Blog: Anyone Seen Nicole?

It’s an X Factor double bill weekend so that’s more guest judges, more guitars and more wannabes. Also, while I think about it, has anyone seen Nicole Scherzinger? She’s the fourth X Factor judge, ex-Pussycat Doll? She was around a bit at the start of the series but seems to have disappeared? No worries, I’m sure she’ll turn up. One way or the other. 

Was she ever seriously considered for the 4th judge?

So, Geri Halliwell turned up this week and if you thought last weeks contestants were grating then get ready for Geri. One Spice Girl was more than enough, who’s bright idea was two? Yes, they were are fun band in the 90s but let’s move on that shall we? Geri is possibly the most annoyingly needy person I’ve seen on any TV talent show. When she started speaking in a Scouse accent and arguing with Gary about who sold more records, dear god the nation was losing the will to live. We only have ourselves to blame though. We bought those Spice Girl records, over a DECADE AGO. She thinks we still love her. She just tries too hard to please everybody, thank goodness she wasn’t the rumoured 4th official judge. Honestly, Sinitta would have been a better choice. Think about that for a moment. SINITTA. 

To the contestants. And we had Jason from Vietnam who kept saying “Tulisha”. My, my the judges couldn’t get over that, it was getting quite uncomfortable when they kept shouting at him “TULISSSSSSSA!” It’s a stupid name anyway and the guy has an accent. He was better than they thought at least. 

Let’s talk about MK1. The N-Dubz wanna-band (why, why WHY model yourself on such a heinous group?) had the age old X Factor decision of dumping the runt of the litter; a complete dork who I’m convinced had an elaborate plan all along. He knew he was shit, but was waiting for the moment to say “I’ll go but I want 33% of your future earning.” Good luck with that one mate. Is that a binding contract? 

Then there’s some idiot who calls himself Eddy String. “The new Frankie Cocozza” people were claiming. He looks like a walking STD, and yet another gobshite. My goodness the producers are scraping the barrel this year.

The least offensive picture I could find.

And while we are talking about scrapping the barrel what about Lorna Bliss. That lap dance was horrendous to watch. If I was working backstage on the X Factor I’d have to think about my life choices as I pushed her towards the stage. The Britney Spears look-a-like who has been on so many TV show; Snog, Marry, Avoid, Dating In The Dark and most worryingly Britain’s Got Talent, among others. Why is BGT most worrying? Because it means the ITV producers knew EXACTLY what they were getting with her. They knew she was crap but gave a bit of shock value to, let’s be honest, a slightly underwhelming series so far. It screams out that they have no new ideas left and that there is nowhere else for this show to go. The judges aren’t helping either, they are just too bland. They all have good and bad points but none of them make this show must watch television any more. And that’s the problem. I can’t stand Bruce Forsyth (how OLD IS THAT MAN?) and the smuggest women on TV Tess Daly but I have a feeling Strictly Come Dancing might make better TV this year. If they got some better hosts I would turn over in an instant. The dancers may not wear much more than a Britney Spears look-a-like body stocking but they look classier. 

One final thought; let’s take a moment to think about the state of Louis Walsh’s hair. What the hell is going on there? 

The X Factor Blog: The Peter Andre Principle

Let’s get this out of the way first; I HATE when they do the “let’s listen into their conversations” bit. It’s a horribly, cheap TOWIE-esq way of seeing what people think. And it wastes far too much of the episodes on them. This series seems to have had the fewest auditions ever. Maybe because there just isn’t that much talent that want to audition? 

There is some kind of crazy in those eyes...

Speaking of "talent", the first auditionee is a lady called Nicola. And my god she’s annoying, every episode has started with someone who has about a quarter of the running time to themselves but isn’t actually very good. She just won’t shut up. Even the judges are getting tired of her and when you are annoying Mel B you know you're doing something right/ wrong. She dances like Jane McDonald would do to dub-step. It was terribly 90s, but she went through. Aye carumba. THIS is the best of the best?

Then we had a quick montage of “yes” contestants (because who wants to see the good contestants am I right??) before we head back to crazy town. An embarrassing mum who has dragged her kids along to really show them up seems genuinely surprised when they say no. She can’t pick up the sarcasm in Gary’s voice. Are people that delusional?? Or maybe she just really hates her kids. 

Scotland's best. Also a part time fairy. 

Then we come to possibly my favourite sob story ever. We had the Ultimate Sob Story last week so I think the writers took a week off here. We have a father, who loves his kid (a bit like Peter Andre, but probably no way near as much). That’s it. That’s the best they can come up with. We’re only in week 3! Oh wait, he’s a SINGLE father (“JUST like Peter Andre! And EVERYONE LOVES him don’t they??” Says an ITV executive). It won’t be long before the ex sells her story in New magazine or the Sunday Mirror, I guarantee. I am calling this strategy The Peter Andre Principle. Just tell people you love your kids and you'll win them over. 

Guest judges-wise we had Anastacia and Mel B. Anastacia was okay, funny in places and seemed nice. Not the strongest judge we've ever seen but not the worst. Mel B was back and by the look of it they had used all the harsh put downs in week one. 

The roadshow then heads into Scotland, where (and I’m only being honest like Tulisa) it’s always shit. Some truly worryingly mental people, mostly unemployed women I have to say. Even the token good contestant thought she was a fairy. My favourite exchange was between Dermot and a women who just got the “No, no, no, no" treatment, Dermot asked what would she do now. The women replied “Get drunk.” And Dermot finished with “Again. Great.”  

Welcome to Scotland. 

The X Factor Blog: The Return Of The Sob Story

What is the X Factor without it's sob stories? Some may say The Voice, but even they knew the power of some over egged life story. ("My goldfish got ill, this is for you Sharky!") We are getting into the swing of things in episode 2 with some massive sob stories and a familiar face (if you were one of about 5 people who watched a Sky Living reality TV show).

What would you call this look?

Let’s say hello to Rylan Clark; Fake Baked to within an inch of his life, hair straightened, manicured and made up. Why did no one mention he has been on another show, Signed By Katie Price? He was the runner up, or as he likes to put it “the male winner.” Singing the song “Kissing You “ from Romeo + Juliet (he didn’t know the artist- it’s Des’ree) it was actually an Ibiza remix. Great choice for a singing competition. But I would never mention Des’ree as all I ever think of is this when I hear her name. Gary (or “G” as Rylan named him) was the only one who said his voice was weak. They had a lot of build up on him so there was no way they were going to say no to such a “personality.” Louis didn’t get it but I have a feeling he doesn’t get a lot that goes on around him. 

Everyone loves it when somebody brings a guitar to the party.

I mentioned it before, especially on The Voice and Britain's Got Talent, but whoever is in charge of the social networking aspect of these shows needs to work harder. #NerveWrack? I never seen one of these trend. And who the hell let guitars in? Lucy Spraggan I’m looking at you. Compete with yet another horrendous hash-tag, #beerfear, while she was different to what the X Factor is used to I found her to be a cross between Victoria Wood, Ed Helms and Kate Nash. She just will not work on the live shows. Even Matt “credible artist” Cardle had to wear yellow jeans and sing pop. These kind of artists belong on BGT. She’s probably better than “Where’s Me Keys, Where’s Me Phone” but she’s still in the same bracket. How is she going to sing pop songs (when most of her song was talking) and give a big performance? I just can’t see how she fits in later on in the series. 

Fantastic, another guitar. 

We then travel to Newcastle which is renowned for it’s lack of talent when it comes to X Factor auditions. Do they really need to go there now Cheryl Cole isn’t on the panel? Let’s be honest, what’s the point? After a day of pure drivel we get James come on to the stage. Ah, James. I bet the X Factor judges couldn’t believe their luck when you came through the door. Ladies and gentlemen I give you the ULTIMATE SOB STORY.

• Number 1. His parents spilt up when he was young. “That’s okay but we need MORE!” 
• Number 2. He gets suspended from school, and blames his parents. Yeah because that’s one thing he should never do is TAKE SOME RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOUR OWN ACTIONS. 
• Number 3. He volunteered himself for foster care. Keep in mind it’s ALL THE PARENTS FAULT. I can just hear the producer saying “Yes, yes that’s all great but do you know what would be even better? Getting your mum and dad together in a room for the first time in 22 years. DYNAMITE!” 

Sigh. The judges are so moved that these parents can put a side their differences and come together because of the amazing talent their unemployed 24 year old son has. Excuse me if I’m not reaching for the hankies just yet. There’s something I don’t like about him, maybe because he sang a Tulisa song. Sorry, her only song. Another guitar Cardle, I don’t see these people working in the later stages of the competition. 

I’ve not even mentioned Rita Ora. She was nice, but to be honest I don’t know who she is. I did see Tulisa furiously scribbling down notes though when Rita was telling her how she got signed with Jay-Z. Good luck with that, Tulisa. 

Next week we have Geri Halliwell guest judging. Thank god for Sky+. 

Hell's Kitchen USA: Full of Angry, Angry Chefs.

Quite unbelievably we are in the 10th season of Gordon Ramsay's Hell's Kitchen USA and it is as over the top as it's ever been. With possibly the cheesiest title sequence ever created (there used to be some kind of Gulliver’s Travels theme in one series) all the chefs try to look as glamourous as they can (which is quite an achievement for some of them). It sets the show up; you know exactly what you’re in for. There is about 5 minutes of total BS that only American shows can do before we even start. On the first episode there is some weird hair shaving ritual which I’m not sure what it was about, but it turns out it was totally staged. Like most US reality TV shows. 

Ramsay shouting at someone... Business as usual. 

It’s a shame Ramsay doesn’t do a UK version any more, I thought it was great. The problem was that they had “celebrities” on it. Have normal people with a real passion for food then you will see some fireworks. We don’t always want to see celebs who want to up their profile, oh and their charities profile (of course). 

The US is just so over the top (it reminds me of a Father Ted episode) I love it because it’s so ridiculous. The voice over man makes me feel like it’s life and death situation. It’s also very angry. All the chefs are angry, angry people. 

Who eats in HK? In the UK it was even shittier celebs who couldn’t even get on the programme. The US has some really snobby people who seem surprised that their free dinner is a) not delivered quickly enough or b) crap. I also can’t believe the amount of times the chefs bring out raw food to the pass too, it’s unbelievable. 

We are into the business end of the season, after what seems like forever. It’s definitely one of the more bitchier seasons I’ve seen. And that’s thanks to Robyn, Tiffany and Kimmie. They back stab everyone. A few weeks ago it was “Steak & Family Night” in HK and with the ultimate prize being Head Chef at Gordon Ramsay’s Steak House in Las Vegas, this was the perfect opportunity for the contestants to shine. The sickly sweet American kids were waiting politely for their pizza (if this was in the UK, kids would be running around the restaurants throwing Fruit Shoots at the waiters) but Tiffany thinks she’s too good to cook for children. Once again, Barbie (who does have a real attitude) stepped up and helped Tiffany, which made Tiffany hate her even more.

Kimmie (left) Vs Robyn... No wonder Robyn looks scared. 

There have been some humungous arguments this season too, one being between Kimmie and Robyn. It actually looked like they were going to come to blows at one point. Robyn looks like she can handle herself in a fight but against Kimmie? She’s a big, big girl. Kudos too to the voice over man for the most sarcastic comment of the season with “While Robyn offers Kimmie an interesting suggestion…” after Robyn (with her weird sad clown face) tells Kimmie to “Suck my dick.” How delightful. 

Many people have gone and we are left with only one team. My money is on Christina for the win, she’s head and shoulders above everyone else. But only Ramsay knows who he wants in his Steak House. 

Hell’s Kitchen continues on ITV2 on Tuesday night at 9pm. 

The X Factor Blog: It's Back! And It's The Same As Ever.

Even though it’s never been far away from our thoughts (or newspapers), TV's biggest talent show is back for a 9th series with the hashtag "Whose time is now?"

But before we get to the contestants let’s say hello to our X Factor judges. The unmovable Louis is back (TV’s version of a barnacle) alongside Gary Barlow and “the girl everyone is talking about” Tulisa. Let’s be honest, no one is talking about her, it seems to be her who won’t shut up about the little tape she made. New series, new judge and the editors have gone into hyperdrive making it look like Nicole Scherzinger has been there from the beginning instead of some uninspiring hirings (wait, is that Anastasia I saw? What is this, the year 2000?)

Louis, sightly over dressed methinks. 

So Dermot is back with a great opening VT in where he tells us about a few success stories. We’ve got Olly Murs on a photo shoot (of course he’s probably most famous for presenting the X Factor’s sister show The Xtra Factor), then there’s Alexandra Burke. I think Dermot was getting at the fact that without the duet with Beyoncé, the biggest star in the world, she would in no way have beaten JLS. Then we end on Simon Cowell’s brainchild and legacy to the X Factor, One Direction. Their fans are truly terrifying and have some how made them into one of the biggest boy bands in the world. No mention of Leon Jackson, Matt Cardle or Shayne Ward… Shanye really should have been a massive star, Cowell’s label really dropped the ball with him. 

We then have some smack talk from the judges. There’s Tulisa bleating, “I’m always going to say what I think.” Shut up, that’s not always a good thing you know. Then there is Gary failing to see the irony when he talks about the talent Team GB showed in the Olympics. Not sure you can compare the years of hard work those athletes do to some of the “acts” on the X Factor who have just played a couple of hours on Singstar. Louis (they still call him a “music manager” but does he actually manager anyone anymore? And has anyone ever said anything nice about him as a manager?) takes a little dig at BBC by saying it’s not all about the voice. Nicole seems really sweet so it’s hard to believe when she says “I’m a scary bitch.” To be fair, I imagine you have to be to be part of the Pussycat Dolls. 

The judges have been introduced, the crowd are ready so let’s get the contestants on! And how lame were they? I’m not sure you should ever start a series with a joke act; that just sets the tone. Welcome some lad who works in Nandos carrying a photo of him and Pixie Lott, putting on a voice so he sounds like Louis Armstrong. Oh. 

I bet I know her favourite colour...

Who else have we got? Some Pink wannabe who sings a Pink song but doesn’t want to be like Pink. Well for starters, why did you get the same hair cut as her? And Emilé Sande (her other song choice)? I thought the judges gave her quite constructive criticism, especially for them. It’s a shame she went off in a huff saying “you told me to sing a Pink song!” And why did her dad, a Tom Jones impersonator, drag her back on stage? Who am I kidding, I loved it. Particularly the colourful language she used. She will definitely be back next year. The producers are playing the long game with her, mark my words. Special mention goes to the use of the Inception soundtrack over her breakdown, great usage there music editor!

Then there was Mel B, who was nicknamed “Grumpy Spice.” She hated EVERYONE, even some old granddad. Although there was someone at the end, who she said yes to but to be honest I can’t remember anybody good. I’m not really a fan of hers but in some corners people liked her because she reminded them of Simon; yes she was nasty but that’s about it. 

It was business as usual then at the X Factor, but if the ratings are anything to go by people are getting a little tired of seeing the same old stories rehashed. It’s not panic stations yet but there needs to be some really great acts in the audition stages to get a buzz going. If not, by the time December comes around we might have another Steve Brookstein on our hands. 

The Gold Rush for Team GB at London 2012: How To Make A Nation Proud.

We as a nation are pretty demanding on our sports stars it's fair to say. Each and every year there is some competition that we are convinced we will win but never quite make it. So imagine all our surprise at London 2012 as Team GB have shone so brightly that you’d almost believe it’s summer. 

Mo Farah and Wenlock in: Epic hug!

The London 2012 Olympics haven’t been cheap; there has been much debate whether we should have even hosted them but after what many dubbed Super Saturday I think few will disagree it was worth every penny. 

We don’t like to admit we can be patriotic, it’s frowned upon by some which I think is a real shame because if London 2012 has shown us anything it’s that we ARE good at sport. We’ve got some truly amazing athletes (special mention goes to all the cyclists and the rowers), maybe now we will stop hero worshipping the football players so much and start appreciating our Olympians a bit more. Just maybe. 

I’ve lost some Twitter followers over the past week since that amazing opening ceremony and I found that a bit sad. Not because I’m an ego manic who keeps on top of her followers but because it must be that some people just aren’t interested in the Olympics, or Team GB. If this team doesn’t inspire you maybe you’re a little dead inside. 

Jessica Ennis: Olympic champion

Every podium I’ve watched with Team GB on top I’ve had to swallow back a few tears. We shouldn’t be ashamed to be patriotic when it’s for a good reason and these Olympians have made us all proud to be British. The medals do look like giant Cadbury coins though. Mmm chocolate. 

We finished top in the rowing table, lots of tears were spilt there. No golds in the pool but Becky Adlington did brilliantly; no GB athlete should need to apologise for their performance especially when you’ve just won your second Olympic medal of these games. And what about Jessica Ennis? The poster girl for London 2012, she had a ridiculous amount of pressure on her shoulders. She just soaked it all in and used it to her advantage, a true sports woman. 

Victoria Pendelton on top of the podium

And shall we talk about the GB women of these games? Some times they don’t get the coverage that the men do but how they’ve impressed this year. Golds in the Velodrome, at Eton Dorney and in the Olympic Stadium. More medals in swimming and equestrian too, my goodness what amazing roles models for young girls today. It seriously puts the TOWIE girls, the Kardashians sisters and all the other “famous for nothing” generation to shame. And as I type this we’ve just made Olympic history with Nicola Adams as she’s won the first ever women’s boxing Olympic gold medal. Honestly, my eyes are filling up now. 

Kings of the Velodrome

Nearly all the athletes have come through some adversary. They’ve had their problems; they’ve finished second, come through injury and had to deal with unlucky decisions but what makes me proud is that they have learnt from their mistakes. Any set backs they have had, they’ve dealt with and worked their way through it. This is what we should be teaching this generation; work hard and you will be rewarded. No more “I Want”; you can’t just get famous and expect the world to fall at your feet. If you want real respect then you need to work hard. And look at Team GB for inspiration. 

My heart is literally bursting with pride for my country. “Inspire a generation” is the tag line for London 2012. Jess, Becky, Sir Chris, Victoria, Mo, Bradley and every single athlete of Team GB; you’ve done just that.