Thursday, 31 May 2012

Videos I Will NEVER Tire Of- #5 Plants Vs Zombies

I'm sure everyone has played this game either on the Playstation, DS, XBox, iPhone or Mac but I just fell in love with this song the first time I heard it. If I remember right it turns up at the end of the game when you complete it, and what a treat!

WHY IT'S AWESOME: Everyone loves zombies don't they? And the song is so catchy, it's delightful! The game is totally addictive so the song goes with it perfectly! I've lost count how many times I've heard it; it's too good a song for it to be annoying. As soon as it's in your head, it's there to stay. The zombies are great, I think my favourite is the one with the screen door as a shield. And why does the dolphin sound so EVIL? Altogether now, "There's a zombie on your lawwwwwnnnnnn!!!!!"

BEST PART? The tagline gets me every time "Get ready to soil your plants!" I hope someone got a big, fat cheque for that one. 

Wednesday, 30 May 2012

Ultimate DVD Collection #1 The Shadow

Now, I'm not saying these are the greatest films ever, I'm not even saying they're particularly very good but I love them for one reason or another and they get watched a fair bit in our household. You'll probably have heard of them but have you watched them all? Maybe you've even gone out your way to ignore some of them.

This is my Ultimate DVD Collection so let's start with this Alec Baldwin classic, The Shadow.

The Shadow

Tuesday, 29 May 2012

Alex Reid Becomes "Pregnant", Saves Relationship

I about choked on my cornflakes when these pictures emerged this morning. Alex Reid, he of Ex-Mr Katie Price, singer, some kind of fighter and ex Hollyoaks star, has decided that he needs to show his heavily pregnant fiance that he loves her by shoving a jumper up his shirt and pretending to be pregnant. Personally I'd just like a cuddle or maybe a cup of tea in bed but actually thinking about it yeah, this is a much better idea.

Alex Reid Pregnant 1
It's beautiful, isn't it?
There are more photos if you're into that sort of thing...

Monday, 28 May 2012

The Voice- Semi Final

We are at the business end of the competition here people, the contestants get cut in half (not literally) and we find out who will be in the final of The Voice. We also have Cheryl (THERE'S NO COLE) doing a 10ft jump off the stage and Kylie singing a song too. And hopefully somebody remembers to talk to Reggie. 

The Voice 9
DON'T DO IT!!! Ah, she did.

This week I've decided to reduce The Voice Semi Final to bullet points of my observations of the show. 

  • There were still 8 singers left at the beginning of the semi final; that's why the shows feel so long, it looks like there is no end in sight.
  • So it was the audience who decided which act would leave; surely next week they won't record the results show? What if someone "does a Jessie" and gives out the result?
  • Gawd damn family VTs, yawn.
  • Honesty was the theme of this week's show. EXAMPLE, "I'm always honest." Said Jessie J. "I'm just being real." Commented 
  • Jessie said "We can't say 'that's amazing'" (when it's not). THAT'S ALL YOU'VE BEEN SAYING!
  • I think they actually forgot about Reggie and The V Room half way through this show.
  • I had a "Dope" count but it was blasted away when went all machine gun and said dope about 100 times over Leanne.  
  • Jessie said "Bo... Selecta." Has it really taken up until the semi finals for someone to say that? 
  • Just in case you didn't know Tyler was friends with Amy Winehouse. I'm not sure it's been mentioned. 
  • I love Cheryl's new song, I think it's great. And I love the leap she did. Her outfit? Not so much. 
  • People were moaning that she didn't sing live but she did just with a backing track. Doesn't everyone do that anyway? Especially with an energetic dance routine like hers.
  • I hate her crappy salute.
  • Cheryl's words of advice? "Just live your dream." Cheers for that. 
  • I love's moon walk with the Olympic torch. 

So on to the results show, and there were some massive surprises. This is what The Voice has needed. Unsurprisingly though, Bo beat Max in Team Danny and Vince won over Becky for Team Jessie. But how did Tyler get more votes than Jaz for Team will, and the biggest shock of the night was in Team Tom. Somehow Leanne won over the hot favourite Ruth. I don't think I even knew Leanne's name until last night. I imagine everyone thought she was safe, it'll be interesting to see how close the votes were between those two. Even Tom looked surprised when the results were announced. 

The Final beckons next week, with only four "artists" left they'll have a lot of time to fill. So expect lots more pointless VTs that I will fast forward through when I inevitably watch it on playback. 

Who's going to triumph? Bo for the win. Selecta. 

Wednesday, 23 May 2012

Is It Just Me or Is The Apprentice A Tiny Bit Dull This Year?

Let me just say that I love The Apprentice, even the ITV2 style show You're Fired on BBC2. Most series have produced TV gold. From the amazing Morocco trip (really, nobody knew what Kosher meant?) to Pants Man (yeah just like that Cadbury's advert with the gorilla, idiots), The Apprentice is more often than not must see TV.
The Apprentice
No mate, YOU'RE fired!
So why hasn't this series grabbed me (and others) as much as the others have? Could I be having BGT Syndrome of just getting bored of it? Well, let's have a think. Is it the actual contestants? None of them seem to be standing out. And the ones who I had my eye on earlier in the competition have been a bit underwhelming (yes I'm looking at you Ricky Martin). Only Stephen can save this year's contestants from being utterly forgettable. And I hate him. He talks utter crap/ business bollocks and he gave the classic plea "Make me Project Manager next week and I'll show you how good I am." Why does that work so much on ol' Suggs?

Now, I don't think changing the big man Lord and Master Captain of the Universe Alan Sugar will do anything; we don't watch the show for Al, we watch it for the complete and utter imbeciles that think they know everything there is to know about business. Someone suggested that Peter Jones could take over from Sugar; I don't bloody think so, how quick we forget Tycoon.

It's also not the tasks, we've had all the classics; don't spend too much on stock, buy expensive sell a little, buy quality stuff blah blah blah.

So we're back to the contestants. They are a little duff this year. Normally I would have known all their names and have a cast iron opinion on each with examples to back up why they are great/ rubbish/ utterly idiotic.

Where's this year's Stuart Baggs "The Brand" and his field full of ponies? Where's my Raef Bjayou "I can talk to prince or pauper"? Where Lee and his reverse pterodactyl? I'll even take Michael Sophocles "I'm a good Jewish boy" and former partner of Katie Waissel over this lot. Only Stephen is close, and that's only because I want to punch him. I can't wait for him to completely mess up this task.

Another factor that may contribute to The Apprentice going off the boil is the prize. Before it was a job with Lord Sugar, now it is a £250,000 investment. I love Tom from last year, but if it was the job that was the prize he wouldn't have gotten as far, bless him.

But I still think a lot rests on the more media savvy contestants. A guy called Ricky Martin who is a wrestler by night and he's NOT the most entertaining contestant? What is the world of reality TV coming too?

Tuesday, 22 May 2012

So Geri Halliwell Is Going To Be A Guest Judge On The X Factor... Great.

The auditions for this year's X Factor start tomorrow and the powers that be STILL haven't found a replacement for Kelly Rowland. By the sounds of it they were trying very hard for Dannii Minogue but it looks like that has slid through their fingers so we are going to be stuck with "guest judges". I HATE guest judges. As seen on Britain's Got Talent this year, they are rubbish. They aren't used to the surroundings, there's very little chemistry between everyone and when the regular judge comes back is all we get is "Well, I didn't see you at the auditions." "I might not have put you through..." "I can't compare what you've done." THEN MAYBE YOU SHOULDN'T BE ON THE PANEL.

x factor 2
Because it worked so well the first time...

Okay, this is slightly different. Nobody's pregnant or contracted malaria. But why the hell haven't the producers got someone ready? When your number one choice falls through, go to your number two. People know when these auditions are, they haven't been sprung on them at the last minute.

So somehow they've convinced Geri Halliwell to come on board. Bet she took loads of persuading. It seems like a really dull choice to me. She was rubbish on Popstars: The Rivals and she was rubbish on The X Factor a few years back. Maybe she was available and that was that. I don't know; it just seems really lacklustre this panel. Let's be honest, last year's show wasn't amazing. Kelly was just TOO American (which made Alexandra "OKDOTCOM" Burke think the public wanted that much enthusiasm), Gary was a bit dull, Tulisa was really lame (that "feisty side" she kept promising? Kate Middleton would have been more threatening) and Louis, well. I don't know what to say about Louis anymore.

No one else has been confirmed and they've not said how long Geri is going to be on the panel. All I know is, it was bloody rubbish when this happened last time. Natalie Imbruglia, Pixie Lott, Nicole Scherzinger, and Katy Perry (now, THAT seems a life time ago) all joined the panel at some point in 2010 and it just made it a bit dull. There was never really any chemistry between them and it spoiled the audition process. 

The USA version has Britney Spears, we get Geri Halliwell?? 

Sort it out Simon. Must try harder.

Monday, 21 May 2012

The Voice- Live Shows Week 4

Jessie J was dressed like a referee with an appalling 90s zigzag parting, (rightly) was digging into Danny's rather dull song choices and I still don't think Tom "I wish I could rhyme" Jones knows what's going on. Welcome to The Voice as we crawl into week four of the live shows and another 4 acts bite the dust.

the voice 8
Alright Jessie, calm down love. 

Let's get a couple of things straight; The V Room is rubbish. Twitter is a great thing if you can use it right,  the BBC aren't using it right. Poor Reggie gets stuck behind the scenes, he really has drawn the short straw presenting-wise. No one cares what the acts think of ANYTHING. They've had enough air time, just stop it. 

And well done Jessie J for tweeting a picture of Vince and Becky on Sunday (before the results show) with the hash tag #teamjessie. THAT'S WHY RECORDING IT ON SATURDAY NIGHT AND SHOWING IT ON SUNDAY EVENING DOES NOT WORK. 

I said it last week but I'll say it again, so the judges get changed now but Jessie still had that horrendous hair style, so really what the hell is the point?? We KNOW it's recorded. 

So what happened this week? At the top of the show, we had Jessie J refusing to start her group performance because her earpiece didn't work. No one cares that much about the group performances i.e. the filler. Super brat Becky mouthing "fuck" when she forget her words while stomping like a child around that god-awful stage to Seven Nation Army. The judges just kept bickering at one another and that got Jessie thinking she was an actual referee at one point. Maybe that's why Holly was wearing a wresting belt. 

Other random thoughts... Any performance where you have a guitar and look a little bit scruffy… In my mind you’re Matt Cardle. *Cough David Julien Cough.* Good luck with that. Also does anyone else think texting is a bit disrespectful? I know he has said he wants to keep in contact with the fans during the show but sometimes it makes him look really disinterested in what's going on.  

Cassius and Toni left from Team Jessie as she choose to save Becky after the audience kept Vince. Over on Team Danny, Bo was safe so it was between Aleks, David and Max with Danny eventually choosing the take through Max. 

Four weeks into the live shows and I can't say I'm loving this show. It's not as bad as some are making out but it will need some work before it comes back next year. 

Is it just me or do the live shows have no sparkle? No showmanship? No (I hate to say it) X factor? The semi finals are next week, and they really need to up the performances of everyone; nobody is coming out of this show great. 

And one last thing... For Christ's sake can we stop going on about Holly's cleavage.

Friday, 18 May 2012

The Voice- Live Shows Week 3

Week 3 of The Voice and while ratings slide we're in for a cull as 4 singers are cut from the show and we have the contestants singing with their coaches. Back into the limelight are Team and Team Tom.

The Voice 7

Britain's Got Talent shouldn't worry them; the final was always going to be big so this week would always be a bit of a struggle ratings-wise. So (intentionally or not) they've "done an X Factor" and *shock* will get rid of 4 contestants.

There has been a lot of bad buzz around the live shows. People have been comparing it to that other BBC classic reality TV show Fame Academy ("Stop Living The Lie"); saying it's too nice, it's too dull, it's too slow. And for some reason they're right. It's not terrible, it's just a bit boring. I enjoyed the coaches and their contestants singing together, but really what was the point?

I've all but gone off the results show, just catch on playback and watch it in 5 minutes. I've seen enough VTs to last me about 10 series of The Voice.

But anyway; 4 contestnats left this week. Matt & Suleen and Adam (THANK YOU!) from Team Tom and Frances and Joelle (WHAT?) from Team Was I the only person who really liked Joelle?

Far too much going on this week and we've got it again with Team Jessie and Team Danny. Is it just me or are we rattling through the live shows? It'll be the final in a couple weeks.

One last question... Why does Holly get changed for the results show when 1. the judges don't and 2. we all know it's recorded on Saturday night?? Pointless. 

Thursday, 17 May 2012

Tuesday, 15 May 2012

X Factor USA Judges Revealed.. And yeah it IS Britney!

The worst part of The X Factor (UK and US) is the never ending stories about who is going to be on the judging panel. My god it's tedious. Some ridiculous names always get thrown around; Katy Perry, Rhianna, Sharon Osbourne, Beyonce, Cheryl Cole (again). And to be honest I thought Britney Spears was another one. Why would she want to do it? Oh sure there's a massive paycheck at the end of it, but there's really no hiding away on a show this size. You have to show some personality, especially on the live shows.

X Factor USA
The Gang's All Here (Picture from Britney's Twitter account)
But here she is; one of the biggest celebrities on the planet, and Simon Cowell got her. Anyone saying she hasn't enough experience obviously doesn't know anything; in theory she is perfect for this show. IN THEORY. This is the kind of person they are looking for, so you'd hope she could spot talent coming a mile off. The only thing I'd worry about is is she ready for it? It's a hell of a big job and isn't her dad still her guardian (or something)? I really hope she does well, I like Britney and always hoped Justin Timberlake would have come back to rescue her.

Demi Lovato is the other new judge and I have to say I'm intrigued. She's been through quite a bit publicly for a 19 year old (not unlike Ms Spears) and she will bring one hell of a Disney audience with her too. Lots of talk about paychecks with Demi netting a $1 million to Britney's $15 million. Let's be honest though, Simon needed a big name and they don't come much bigger than Britney Spears; $15 million is going to seem like a drop in the ocean if Simon gets the ratings he's being bragging about. And come on; nearly anyone would have been better than Paula Abdul and Nicole Scherzinger.

Both girls have been through a lot and I think it's fair to say they seem quite fragile; lets hope Simon knows what he's doing and, along with LA Reid and himself, he's brought together an ultimate team. Suit up.

Sunday, 13 May 2012

Twitter Accounts I Find Most Entertaining At The Moment

twitter logo
Tweet, tweet
I love Twitter, I can literally spend hours on there (and regularly do). As much as I like talking to my friends it's such a great way to socialise and network. And also semi-stalk (in a totally non-threatening way, obviously) celebrities. It's amazing. And who doesn't love a good #hashtag??

Now some people on Twitter just don't get it; the worst offenders are accounts that are obviously ran by their publicist. The whole point of Twitter is to interact with people. Why be on it if all you are going to do is plug your latest song/ film/ eyelashes/ children's story book collection? I've put together a Top 5 of my favourite Tweeters of the moment; people who are actually interesting, well written blogs, cool actors and even a shop. You probably follow them but let me tell you why I follow them.

5. Waterstones on Oxford Street.

Okay, they can be a bit weird sometimes when they go off on one but most of their tweets always raise a smile. I thought it was a spoof account for a while but seems to be genuine (I think). Quirky, cool and not a hint of crummy offers, it's well worth a follow.

They want to destroy the Kindle too.

4. Richard Osman, everyone's "Pointless friend".

Richard Osman is hilarious, the banter between him and Alexander Armstrong on Pointless makes the show. His tweets can sometimes be a bit random (there was a World Cup of crisps at one point- forget who won), but anyone informing me of The Chuckle Brothers being on TV is a-okay by me.

Tweet 8
"Hiya, hello."

3. Digital Spy Reality Bites Blog.

If you watch as much reality TV as me, there really is no excuse not to follow DS Reality Bites. They are great to tweet along with when any reality shows are on. Funny and with a memory like an elephant (Bring Back Gamu was a popular hash tag during the last series of The X Factor), Reality Bites is a must for fans of The Apprentice, BGT, I'm A Celeb and the like. Get involved.

Tweet 9
There are many more acts you've forgotten but DS Reality Bites hasn't.

2. The Rock, wrestler slash actor.

Honestly, you'll find it hard to find someone more inspiring in their tweets (maybe not the one below so much). There are some really motivational words going on. He also has loads of pictures (everyone loves a good Twitpic) and info on his films. And as we all know if you put The Rock in your movie franchise it automatically gets better by about 57% (or something). EXAMPLE: Fast & Furious, Journey To..., G.I Joe; maybe more...?

Tweet 5

1. Tom Hiddleston, y'know Loki: god of mischief.

I'm a little bit in love with Tom Hiddleston at the moment; this is the reason I love Twitter. You follow people but it's playful interest-taking. And to be fair, if they didn't want anyone knowing anything about them, they wouldn't be on Twitter would they? That's my story anyway. With lots of interest still in The Avengers/ Avengers Assemble it's nice to see actors who are obviously incredibly popular at the moment to actually read and reply to messages from people (not from me but hey, I don't want to come across as a total mentalist.) He sends some really adorable tweets and also some cryptic ones about an up and coming project. Cute, articulate and oh-so-smart, I love looking for his tweets on my timeline. My god I might explode by the time Thor 2 comes around.

Tweet 10
Every body's favourite god and new favourite insult.

Friday, 11 May 2012

Return Of The Old School Vampires?

What with Tim Burton's Dark Shadows out today it got me thinking, where have all the old school vampires gone? Twilight defiantly hasn't helped the blood thirsty image of vampires. Whatever they say in the films and books about how "dangerous" they are, really they're toothless. And a bit too pretty. As far as I can think (and be bothered to research) Interview With The Vampire started this whole romantic vampires thing; Twilight just took it to the next level. Supernatural did a great send up of these toothless/ romantic vamps in the episode Live Fast or Twihard, even Sam and Dean couldn't escape Robert Pattinson and Taylor Lautner for long. 

A couple of months back I got to watch The Monster Squad at The Prince Charles Theatre, London (a Goonies-esq 80s kids flick... With a 15 certificate) and in it was Dracula. A proper old school Dracula with a cape and one of those medals you used to win at swimming galas.

monster squard
The Monster Squad monsters and Dracula with his medal. 

What happened to those vampires? Maybe it was just Dracula who looked like that... Johnny Depp's vampire doesn't look too vicious in Dark Shadows either. 

At least in True Blood they are up front at how deadly they are. They abide by the law but they can kill if they need too. But again, they are ultra modern and rather too good looking. 

Twilight rediscovered vampires to a tween audience but maybe they should go watch Buffy if they like teen angst and the supernatural. While not the best episode, Buffy Vs Dracula always sticks in my mind. Dracula is a proper old school vampire; he even turns into a bat! Buffy can't kill him but they come to a happy medium- they just agree to stay out each others way. 

Buffy did teen angst vs vampires over 10 years ago- the original angst-ridden vamp? How about Angel?? Some kids need to get a clue. 

buffy vs dracula
Buffy vs Dracula
There have been loads of vampire films the last few years: Daybreakers (cool, urban vampires), Fright Night (handymen vampires) and a few more out this year (Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter) and TV shows; The Vampire Diaries, Blood Ties, Moonlight to name but a few. Vampires are still big business.  I would just like to see a bit more classical bloodsuckers with big swooshy capes, slicked back hair and can turn into a bat.

Love 'em or loath 'em vampires aren't going anywhere but I'm hoping they start going back to the roots a bit more. We've also got Twilight: Breaking Dawn Part 2, and at least they have the Volturi, they're quite traditional. Shame they are all shiny in the sun though, that really lets them down. 

Thursday, 10 May 2012

Videos I Will NEVER Tire Of- #4 Brodyquest

Do you like Adrien Brody? Do you ever wonder what he gets up to on his days off? Wonder no more! Here is Oscar winning actor Adrien Brody on his day off. Yes it's weird, and I know many people probably give up around the 1 minute mark, but I think your patience gets rewarded. If by rewarded you mean seeing Adrien Brody TAKE OVER THE WORLD. As one of my friends said, they could have improved on Predators by swapping the last reel with Brodyquest. It's kinda the same thing.

WHY IT'S AWESOME: I suppose that depends a bit on if you like Adrien Brody. For me, it's the music. You want to annoy your neighbours? Put on repeat and go out for the afternoon.

BEST PART? I like the star fish following him. It's cute. And his face on the Pope's hat. And the music that just. Won't. Stop.

COULD IT GET EVER SO SLIGHTLY ANNOYING? No. No it could not. Well maybe. 

Tuesday, 8 May 2012

The Voice- Live Shows Week 2

Week 2 on The Voice and we all try to settle into the rhythm of the live shows. This week we've got Team Jessie and Team Danny all guns blazing and before we even start Tom Jones does his obligatory name drop of the week; Frank Sinatra AND Sammy Davis Jr.

The Voice 6

So Toni was first up and she was good; I'm not sure what it is about her, I think sometimes she comes across too confident on stage. Some people might like that, I don't. gives his first rhyme of the evening "Straight from the gate, zoom not boom."

Then we had Max with his hat and guitar, I hate hats and guitars. Ruth-Ann was next and let's be honest; she never had a chance. She really did take the place of someone better, was right when he said that she was as good as her Blind Audition; and that was rubbish.

Hannah, who I think looks a bit like Stacey Soloman had too much going on; the curse of the dancers. The coaches really don't like the theatrics that The X Factor love. But they're going to have to up the ante at some point, ratings aren't going up so they will have to try something. I also think Holly doesn't have a very good grip on the judges; they just talk over her. 

Bo closed the show and I think she was the best performer. She has a bit of Dido about her but I think at least she is different. 

On to the results show and we have Team Will doing a group performance then Team Tom; do we really need 2 group performances? I don’t think so. Although I did like the coaches dancing around. Ruth-Ann and Toni were in the bottom 2 in Jessie’s group and Max and Hannah for Team Danny. I think Ruth-Ann and Hannah were the right people to go, they just weren’t good enough. 

Danny said “That’s not the end of Hannah Berney.” I’m willing to take that bet, Danny. 

Next week there will be 2 artists from each team leaving, that’ll hack the teams down quickly and they also get to sing with the coaches. Should be fun!

Random things…
  • I loved the cool little knock knock joke from (still my favourite judge). 
  • Someone who I’m not a fan of is Becky; she just seems like a brat and if she went out I imagined she’d stomp her feet and throw herself on the floor.
  • “Flipped it” or “Not flipped it enough” seemed to be the phrase of the week. 

Sunday, 6 May 2012

A Non-Returning Misfit, X Factor Global Commitments and Amanda Holden Being Kind Of A Bitch

Lots of stories floating round Celebville this week and some not too nice at all.

No more Kelly unfortunately. 
A story I had no idea was going on concluded in court this week when Lauren Socha (Kelly in Misfits) pleaded guilty to racially aggravated assault on a taxi driver. It's such a sad story; one, it's a truly horrible attack and something I would never wish on anybody and two; why would she do this when she had such a promising acting career in front of her? She was my (and many others) favourite character, so in a totally obvious move, E4 have confirmed she will not be returning to the new series. She also won a BAFTA for Best Supporting Actress last year so was clearly going places. E4 did say that her return was agreed months ago and is not connected to conviction but I find that hard to swallow. So that leaves Curtis as the only original (and possibly the dullest) character left in Misfits. But I'll wait and see, I was proved wrong when Nathan left so hopefully there's life in the show yet.

She can stop doing that as well.

In other news we've definitely got a new judge on The X Factor along with 3 returning ones. Not sure what Louis Walsh has over Simon Cowell but there he is, once again. Tulisa (her sex tape has literally done her only good) and miserable dad figure Gary Barlow is back. So that just leaves poor old Kelly Rowland out in cold. Her spokesman says it's down to her "global commitments" I say it's more to do with the the sickie she pulled last year. I've heard some excuses but I'm going to use "global commitments" next time I need to get out of a fix. It's a shame as she started off as a great judge but something happened to her on the live shows; people just ended up hating her. At least she can be rest assured that she will never be as terrible at Alexandra Burke. Again, I found Gary and Tulisa much better in the earlier stages. Tulisa especially turned out not to be so smart with her comments; Misha B and "Bully-gate" come to mind.

Amanda Holden
It's the only photo I could find...
Another story that caught my eye was Amanda Holden saying that she has watched Tulisa's sex tape. OK, why are you telling us that? Even if she was asked about it she could have politely declined to answer. And then she said it was Alesha who sent it to her. Kind of a douche thing to do; Alesha Dixon wasn't there to defend herself, so why would Amanda bring her into it? Not really fair on Tulisa either who has been pretty honest and upfront with it and I think just wants to forget it. It just makes Amanda look nasty and bitter; she always seems so jealous of other women. She wasn't very nice about Kelly Brook when she was on the Britain's Got Talent panel for about 4 days. It seems a really sly and underhanded thing to say when everyone else has moved on; it's not like her past is whiter than white. Check yourself Holden before you wreck yourself; you won't be in Cowell's favour forever.

Thursday, 3 May 2012

The Voice- Live Shows Week 1

We've had the Blind Auditions, we've had the Battle Rounds but now it's the Live shows. Shows where everything can mess up and we get to see how good Holly and Reggie actually are and if it's still really about The Voice.

So in the first week we've got Team Tom vs Team Will. It's our time to vote and whoever finishes with the lowest votes it's then up to the coaches (not judges) to decide who to keep.

Opening the show we had the 4 coaches singing U2's Beautiful Day. It was terrible. Poor, that is not a song for him. Danny probably chose it. On the US show apparently the coaches sing with their team, so there is talk they will do it like that from now on.

The Voice 5
The coaches singing U2's Beautiful Day.

The show overall was very structured and very samey- not necessary a bad thing but it just didn't flow as nicely as it could have. There were an awful lot of VTs especially in the (pre-recorded) results show. There were VTs on what the coaches thought of their teams, what the singers thought of the coaches, what the coaches think of each other. It was heavily padded, and I felt the results show should have been on Saturday night; there was no need for it be on Sunday. Yes, The X Factor has an hour long results show and yes, it's padded but it just feels more fluid. But then The X Factor has had 8 years to perfect it.

With 10 acts performing we didn't really get much time with the contestants; one singer who did stand out (for all the wrong reasons) was Adam on Team Tom. He looks like a member of Let Loose and he talked way too much. He thanked the crowd for coming (alright mate, they aren't there all for you) and he had to comment after each coach said something to him. It was quite embarrassing. Needless to say, I didn't like him. Also he wasn't very good. A cross between Matt Bellamy and Dave Grohl; he was as good as neither.

There has also been talk about Holly not being happy about her face time previous to the live shows. Someone should tell her that being on This Morning everyday and Celebrity Juice is more than enough TV for anybody. I found her a bit wooden, she reminded me of Kate Thornton on The X Factor; way out of her depth.

I'm not sure about "The V Room" either; is Reggie relegated there from now on? Or will Holly and him swap roles? If not then I feel bad for him.

So on the results show we had Tom choosing between Matt & Sueleen and Sam. To be honest, I think he made the right choice, Sam's performance wasn't great but I did like him so it's a shame to see him go. Will was really nice about Sophie but had to let her go, Joelle is fantastic and I was quite surprised to see her in the bottom 2. Although, it's not like she was in the bottom 2 overall, just of Will's group so there is hope for her to grow.

Not perfect by any means, hopefully everyone will relax a bit more next week. Also, I hope the coaches know it's okay to say some people weren't great; not everyone will be fantastic. And stop going on about licks. I literally have no idea what you are talking about.

Wednesday, 2 May 2012

ITV2 Is The Reason We Can't Have Nice Things

"First of all, never bad mouth Synergy." Jack Donaghy, 30 Rock

Jack Donaghy

I'm pretty sure that this is the mantra of ITV2.  I have a love/hate relationship with ITV2. Yes, I can watch TOWIE and know who's going out with who, I can even sit through Judge Judy and I don't mind catching American Idol when it's on. But what I hate, hate HATE is the way everything links. And most of it is to do with reality TV.

The titles that literally took 5 seconds to think of, Britain's Got MORE Talent (debatable), The XTRA Factor (it's on long enough), the tediously titled I'm A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here... NOW! and Take Me Out: The Gossip (Take Me Out... AGAIN would have been better). I watch the sister shows on ITV1, I enjoy them, some of the time, but these "spin-offs" are beyond shit.

And what about the presenters? Well, we have cheeky chappy (read: extremely annoying) Olly Murs presenting The Xtra Factor after appearing on The X Factor and now he has a new reality show Olly: Life on Murs. A show I'm sure that they came up with the title first then decided let's just film his tour. Oh! And get the fans involved via Twitter!! Twitter keeps ITV2 in ideas.

olly murs
I hate men in hats. 

Then we've got Take Me Out: The Gossip with TOWIE's Mark Wright. I'm not really sure why other than he has been on an ITV2 programme. I remember I'm a Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here... Now! had Matt Willis presenting it,  after he won it one year but now they've got some girl and a couple of lame comedians.

AND THEN THERE'S THE REALITY TV SHOWS. Like previously mentioned, Olly: Life On Murs and the ground breaking Peter Andre: My Life are the biggest shows on ITV2 at the moment. On Peter Andre's show we learn he loves his Ferrari, his music, his fans AND DON'T FORGET THE KIDS. Also CAN Associates client and ex girlfriend Elen Rivers might just pop in for a cup of tea. And I'm guessing you'll probably see other CAN clients Amy Childs and husband and wife team Nicola McLean & Tom Williams who Pete just happens to be BEST FRIENDS WITH.

Peter Andre
Some books Peter Andre is trying to read.

And possibly the most heinous offender, Celebrity Juice. I'll be honest, I've seen the show and sometimes Keith Lemon is funnier than he ought to be. But why the hell are Fern Cotton and Holly Wiloughby on it? Oh, because she's on ITV1's flagship daytime TV programme! And she's dragged her best friend along. Neither are funny, in fact they are painfully unfunny and this show really doesn't sit well with Holly's cosy family life she's built up on This Morning, so much so I'm surprised ITV1 would want her doing it at all. It's rude and crude and they look like idiots; we're laughing at you not with you. And what about the guests? Well just this year we've had Christine Bleakly (Daybreak), Phillip Schofield (This Morning), Jonathan Ross (The Jonathan Ross Show), Chris Fountain (Coronation Street and Dancing on Ice), Matt Cardle (X Factor winner), Caroline Flack (The Xtra Factor) I COULD GO ON!

celebrity juice
They've all gone to the same hairdresser. 
I'm all for a bit of synergy but not to the point when Corrie and Jeremy Kyle have a cross over. (THIS HAPPENED). It's just sometimes it's a bit too much ITV, don't be afraid to look a bit further a field for different ideas. If you rely on BGT, I'm A Celeb... and The X Factor for ideas then you'll come unstuck sooner rather than later.